Luke's POV
As I drove home, I thought about the hour I had spent with Lyndsey. It hadn’t been as awful as I had expected it to be and I actually didn't mind it. She was good at explaining things and I understood the biology more now than before. It was hard to imagine why Sarah hated her so much. I had to continually sit through rants about Lyndsey and had to tolerate Sarah bad mouthing her almost every day, but, to me, Lyndsey didn’t seem like that bad of a person. I sighed as I pulled into the driveway. I couldn’t just start being nice to Lyndsey. Sarah and the others would question me about it. The results of Sarah finding out about the tutor sessions would be disastrous for me and I did not want that to happen. She knew how to ruin a person. And she had the perfect way to ruin me.
I parked my car and climbed out. The light of me and Jai's room was turned on and so was Beau's, so I assumed they were home. I walked through the front door and realized that my assumptions had been right when a voice called out.
“Luke? Is that you?”
I sighed in exasperation and smirked. “No, Beau, its Santa Claus.”
Beau came running around the corner in just a pair of navy blue sweatpants and a white t-shirt, his green eyes sparkling. “Oh, what do I get for Christmas?”
Rolling my eyes, I took my shoes off and walked into the living room. “You don’t get anything. You’re on the naughty list.” I winked at him as I walked by and made my way up to my room.
Beau laughed. “I didn’t think I was that bad.”
“Oh, you’re always that bad.”
I walked into the room which me and Jai shared, to find that he wasn't there. I pulled my shirt over my head then threw it on the bed. I changed into a pair of light grey sweatpants and went back downstairs.
I went into the living room to find Beau lounging on the couch watching TV. He looked up at me as I came in.
“I’m hungry,” he stated, a pout on his face. “What’s for dinner?”
I threw myself down on the couch and didn’t look at him when I said, “Nothing. You’re going to have to starve.” Mums away on a business trip, so he's more lazier than ever now.
I glanced over at his panicked expression and couldn’t help but laugh.
“Just order out. Where's Jai, by the way?” I said.
“He just went out to take Lala for a walk before you came back.” Beau shouted, jumping up to find the phone book and a phone. “Chinese it is!”
I watched Beau run from the room to solve his food problem before bringing my eyes back to the TV. My thoughts wandered elsewhere and I just stared at the television screen without even processing what I was watching.
My mind swirled around the memories of what Sarah had told me about Lyndsey and about what I had I witnessed in Lyndsey tonight. Everything seemed wrong. Maybe it was about something in the past between Sarah and Lyndsey. Whatever it was, I was utterly in the dark about it. Sarah never explained why she hated Lyndsey, not even to me. I found it strange that we had been friends for nearly our whole lives and she didn’t feel obligated to tell me why she hated someone so much. I had never really questioned it before. It might have been because I had never really met Lyndsey personally, so I hadn’t known what she was like. Now that I have, I couldn't really see a reason to hate her.
“Luke? Are you in there?” I was snapped out of my daze by Beau's and Jai's face directly next to mine. Looks like Jai is back.
Startled, I jumped away from him slightly. “Wh-what?”
Jai raised an eyebrow. “Did you hear anything we just said? God, Luke, you seem kind of out of it. What's going on?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I was just… thinking…”
Beau huffed impatiently and walked towards the stairs. “Well, we said that the food will be here in about half an hour and then we can eat!”
“Good. I'm fucking starving.” I replied, slightly smiling.
Jai's eyebrows furrowed and he looked at me worriedly. “What’s on your mind?”
I glanced over at Jai, my eyes meeting his. We would sometimes have these heart to heart talks that were strictly between us. It was nice to do every once in a while to get everything off of my chest. Beau and I are close, but I've always been closer to Jai. Must be a twin thing. I knew I could trust him and I knew he wouldn’t hold anything against me like Sarah would. I smiled at him. Even though we're cunts to eachother most of the time, I was so grateful to have him. I wanted to tell him about Lyndsey and the whole situation, but I felt like now wasn’t the time to tell him.
I shook my head, still smiling. “There is something on my mind…” I trailed off, but he finished for me.
“But you just don’t want to tell me. Not yet, anyway.” Jai smiled in understanding. “Don’t worry about it, bro. Just tell me when you're ready.”
My smile widened. “Thanks, Jai.”
He returned the smile. “Don't worry about it. Just don’t keep zoning out like that! You missed out on an exciting conversation topic.”
I laughed. “I’ll bet it could have been interesting.”
The rest of the evening went by like it usually did. We watched television and then ate the Chinese food when it arrived. I spent some time on facebook and Twitter and then decided that it was late enough and I headed upstairs to get ready for bed.
After brushing my teeth, I took my sweatpants off and crawled into bed. I lay there for a while, my hands behind my head and my eyes staring blankly at the ceiling.
I was beginning to questions everything I had been doing since junior high. I had grown a reputation of being someone you didn’t want to mess with. I was happy with that, but I also didn’t want to make people afraid of me at the same time. I was strangely torn. Sarah had received the same reputation as I, but she had no remorse whatsoever. Deep down, I knew I never liked being seen as a jerk. As a monster. But was that really what I was? I hoped not. Was it too late to change? Was I in too deep? Hundreds of questions flooded my mind. Change was never easy, but maybe the better things in life never came easily. I didn’t think I could ever change the way I was seen. No matter how much I fought for it.
My head started to pound with all this deep thinking and I rolled onto my side, closing my eyes. Just being with Lyndsey once had triggered all of these thoughts and feelings within me. Did that mean something, or did she have that affect on everyone? I sighed. Maybe it was best to push all of these thoughts aside and just stay away from her. If being with her had brought all of these concerns to mind, then avoiding her might make me forget about them. I got a strong, almost ache in my chest and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to stay away from her, even if I wanted to.
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Aw poor Luke! What did you guys think? :) Let me know & thanks for reading, lovelies. xx
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