Kingsbane

Chapter 4

     Siofra sat in the window of her bedroom, staring out at the Unseelie border. It was darker there, colder, a place where all splendor died. Honesty, loyalty, faith, all of it blackened and turned to ash there. Yet, it was that place she longed to be most of all. This castle was a Hell, and she was forever trapped within it, bound by duty, consumed and slowly destroyed by regret and grief.
    A soft rapping sounded her the door and she turned her face from the view beyond her reaches. "Come." She ordered, knowing already who knocked.
    "Good morning, Your Highness." Blair greeted with a knowing smile. "Bad dreams, again?"
    "It's not the dreams that bother me." Sio whispered. "It is the waking."
    "Do try to cheer up, My Lady. Siva is just as handsome as his brother, and kinder too. Is it truly so awful?"
    "Just get my dress." Sio muttered, both annoyed and relieved that Blair broke formality on occasion. The woman had been with her since before she'd been coronated and it was nice to have someone around who knew her, the woman, not the Queen.
    "Green or blue today?" Blair inquired, pulling two flowing dresses from the wardrobe.
    "You no better than to suggest blue to me." Sio breathed, "Toss it out."
    "As you wish." Throwing the green gown over her arm, Blair replaced the blue dress in the back of the wardrobe, knowing her mistress did not really wish it gone, simply hidden. "It isn't even the right shade, My Lady, this grudge you have against such a suiting color is senseless."
    "His eyes were every shade of blue to me." Sio said softly, "It is bad enough that I have the entire sky to remind me. Sometimes, I feel as though his death would have been easier to bear than this. Does this make me wicked?"
    "You are our Queen, the epitome of light. Nothing about you is wicked." Blair replied, unlacing Sio's nightdress and helping her into her slip. "What shall we do with your hair today? A braid? A knot?"
    "Put it atop my head, like you used to when I was small."
    Blair eased Sio onto the vanity bench and began to brush her long red hair, humming softly as she did so, the same lilting melody as always.
    "I heard from the kitchen that you have not been finishing your fertility elixir." She whispered as she began making small plaits along Sio's hairline. "You know the vitamins are crucial for a successful conception."
    "It tastes foul." Sio spat.
    "If you do not bare us an heir soon Sio, the succession will be interrupted. In another two thousand years, we will be Queenless."
    Sio didn't respond. She knew what she had to do, knew it's importance. If only the thought of bearing another's child while Sverre still lived did not disgust her so. It did not help that it was his brother she'd be sleeping with. It felt so much like betrayal that it made her nauseas.
    "I will finish it today." She promised. "Siva and I will not fail."
    "I wish there was something to be done, Your Grace. If there was a way to wash away the stain of dishonor from Sverre's soul, I would die to make it so." Blair sighed, "I would do anything to see that smile upon your face again."

***
     Work had been busy. He'd arranged so many bouquets he could see the flowers when he closed his eyes. Not that he minded. He loved his job. However, telling his loving boss he'd not be around for wedding season hadn't gone so smoothly. She's cried enough to water ever plant in the inventory- twice.
       Now Grayson lay on his couch staring blankly at the weather channel. He'd meant to take a shower, wanted to straighten up the living room and feed the cat, but all he'd been able to do was flop weakly on the couch. He hadn't even taken the keys from the door or turned the light on. The doctors had estimated two months, but he wasn't confident that he'd make it that long.
    His eyes wondered to the notebook and pen abandoned on the coffee table among a littering of takeout boxes and empty soda cans. He'd been trying to write his family a letter. It'd be awful for his sister to find him laying dead here, without any explanation at all.
    Sighing through his nose, he dug his phone from his pocket and went through his missed calls until he found her number. He hesitated. Lying to his mother had been hard, but lying to Sarah, god, that would be nearly impossible. She was his best friend. He wanted to tell her. Even though it'd break her heart, he longed to have someone to confide in, someone to offer comfort. That was selfish of him, wasn't it? Or was keeping it all a secret worse?
    He let the phone fall to the floor and rolled gingerly over and closed his eyes. Dying wasn't as easy as he'd originally thought it would be. As if losing your life was not cruel enough, why did it have to be like this? Slowly withering?
    The screen door opened and he heard his forsaken keys jingle as they were pulled from the lock. The door shut, and light footfalls tread the carpet toward him, but he did not care to see who it was. He felt a touch, gentle, as gentle as the butterfly that had perched there that afternoon.
    He knew it was Siva.
    "Are you a delusion?" He whispered.
    "I couldn't bear the thought of you laying here miserable." The man's soft voice replied. "Let me lend you strength." Siva sat down on the couch and took him in his arms. "You are the bane of my existence, Grayson. The poison in my blood."
    "Then why are you here?" He grumbled, pushing weakly against the man's chest. The contact made Siva's eyes flare and before he realized it, he was caught in a deep passionate kiss. He felt a rush of strength run through him, and his heart sped faster.
Siva did not speak. Gray didn't protest as the man lay him down on the cushions, and leaned over him, pressing his warm body against his. He gasped as Siva slid a large hand down his pants and whimpered piteously as he was fondled. He couldn't think straight enough to question what was happening.
    The hand that was not preoccupied, Siva used to cradle his head, keeping Gray's mouth too busy with kisses for arguments. As the boy began to move his hips, Siva stripped him of his clothing and sat him upright on his lap. He continued to stroke and kiss until he had the boy closing his eyes, digging his nails into his shoulders, fully aroused and throbbing.
    "Siva-" He moaned as he came, sweat running from his face.
    And then Siva was gone. He was alone, clothed, but still sweating. The entire couch was soaked and he was still right where he had been before he'd started hallucinating, or had he simply fallen asleep? Either way, it was disconcerting.
    Sitting up woozily, he looked at the door and found it shut. His keys were lying on the coffee table and the T.V. had been turned off. "Hello?" He called, rising slowly. No answer. But of course an ax-murderer wasn't going to reply.
    "Who's Siva?" His sister's sharp tone inquired, coming down the stairs, a blanket over her arm and a pillow beneath it.
    "Isn't it past your bedtime?" He inquired, glancing over at the coffee table where his notebook sat. It had obviously been disturbed. She'd read it.
    "It's a Friday night. I'm supposed to be with Dani but after the load of shit you fed mom today, I figured I'd stop by and check on you." She replied, throwing the pillow and blanket at him. He didn't block the soft barrage, and the items fell into his lap after thudding into his face.
    "Sarah, listen-"
    "No, you listen." She whispered, sitting down next to him. "I'm not going to tell, but I think you should."
    "I can't. Mom would cry he whole time and it's not like there's anything she can do."
    "You and Dad need to make up. You can't go and leave it like this." There was a quake in her voice, and he knew she was fighting with all her might to stay strong. "He'll regret it the rest of his life. If you guys fix things, at least you'll both get some closure."
    "And what about you? What can I do to make it easier for you?"
    "Nothing." She shrunk away from his comforting touch and got to her feet. "Remember when I couldn't sleep, and I'd come to your room in the middle of the night? And you'd tell me stories until I got tired?"
    "Yeah. Of course."
    "Well," When she looked back at him, tears were running openly down her face. "I can't sleep."
    All he had to do was open his arms, and she was in them, sobbing into his chest. This was what he'd wanted to avoid. Her cry was heart wrenching. When she wept she did it with her whole body, with everything she had. It made him feel guilty, and angry, and useless. He'd always kept the monsters away, chased off the bullies and bad boyfriends, rose up and defeated all that would harm her. But not tonight.
      Tonight he could do nothing.