Today we are going to be talking about falling in love
aka falling into a hell hole
which could either be a good or bad thing
In late 2013, I met the love of my life.
We met over a skype call with my friend, and we edned up skyping eachother alot until May 7th, 2014 and then stopped talking because i never got on skype.
LAter in 2014, i fell into a hole of depression and sadness and darkness. I was left with no one, and always felt alone.
I cut myself on March 9th for the first time.
During the months after that, i tried to become a better person and stop.
On May 8th, the end of school as coming up, and my friend and I were working on our last school project together.
She leaves, but i'm still on the computer finishing up the project. I reminded myself that i hadn;t been on skype in a while so i logged on, and saw somone was online, someone that i hadnt talked to in a long time.
He immediatly texted back, as if he were waiting for me to text him.
We started texting everyday after that. He asked me out a few times, but i said no because of how busy i was with schoolwork and decided maybe to wait until summer.
so i did.
Then i finally said yes on the last day of school, May 25th.
During the summer, we fell in a deep hole of love. Very very deep love. We planned for the future, like where we were going to live when we got out of high school and what car we were going to buy when we had kids. We got very serious, and very deep in love.
He asked me to marry him, and we even had our own little fake wedding. It made us happy, though, even though it was fake.
We just couldn't wait for the future.
Then one day, he made me promise that i wouldn't cut myself ever again.
But i did.
I broke the promise.
I got mad at myself and didn't know what to do because school was also starting back up which made me anxious and plus it had already happened, so i texted him for help because he promised me he'd be there for everything. but he only got quiet.
a week later he broke up with me because he wanted me to figure out myself.
tbh i still haven't figured out myself and it's almost January.
A week later after the break up, his friend (which i didn't know had been friends with him) asked me out, so i said yes because i needed to move on. But i still couldn't get him out of my head, even when i had a new boyfriend. It also hurt to think that i hurt him by breaking that promise, and now that i was dating his best friend. I bet i hurt him badly. and i feel so bad for that.
But one day he texted me, and i texted back, and we just started texting again. We decided to meet up and go on a walk, so we did, and then we talked again everyday since.
I broke up with his friend, so we could get back together, but we didn't because we just stopped talking one day.
I then got a new boyfriend, but as soon as i started to date him, my love came back and begged for me back. He had came back and wanted to know i was happy and wanted to know that i was okay. But what he didn't know was that my boyfriend at the time didn't care at all. I was starving myself, quickly losing weight, cutting myself even when i promised not too, and i cried every night because i wanted to die. All i wanted was to have him back.
He knew i had changed, though, and asked me a few times but i denied.
Then my boyfriend broke up with me, so i texted him about it, and he was there for me... until he found out why.
My boyfriend had broken up with me because i was cutting myself again.
Then he got quiet AGAIN and didn't talk to me for a day or two. Then i found out that he had gotten a girlfriend the day after he found out about my boyfriend. It hurt like hell to know that he was in someone elses arms.
But yesterday, they broke up. And he texted me and said sorry, and i said sorry too. I asked what i could do to help, and he said to cuddle him because he missed me and only dated her to make me jealous. Now, we are both single, both still in love with eachother, and i hope i get him back soon.
He mayyyy sound like a fuckboy in this story, but he really isnt. He's only ever dated me and the other girl.
I love him and i hope i get him back soon.
But whatever happens, i want him to be happy, because thats what love is about. For you to be happy when the other person is happy.
