Closed Doors

6

I wake up with silence filling my head. I am so happy that the voice won't be here to torture me today. I look around at my cell. I see the carvings of my family. How I miss them... I hear footsteps. I look up to see my cell door opening with Razaar on the other side.
"Master Shredder has requested I bring you to him." he says as he yanks me to my feet. It makes me dizzy, but I ignore it and follow him. We pass a mirror. I stop to look at myself. I'm covered in dried blood and I have a lot less muscle than I used to. My once bright and florescent green eyes are now dull and have sunken into my skull. Razaar grabs my shoulder and forces me to walk forward. I'll never forget that frightened and pitiful face looking back at me.
We walk into Shredder's dojo and he is sitting in his throne. Razaar forces me on to my knees in front of the stairs that lead up to the stone throne of Shredder. I look up at him. He's just staring at me. I want to attack, but I don't have the strength.
My stomach rumbles painfully and I wince. I'm starving. Shredder stands and walks down the stairs infornt of me. I know he's going to kill me know. I should be scared, but I'm ready for death. I am tired of this endless torture. I close my eyes but the blade never slices me. Never cuts me.
I open my eyes to see Shredder holding out his hand to me. I look at it and then back up to him. Razaar taps my back with his foot and I take Shredder's hand. He helps me to stand up.
"Follow me." his deep voice rumbles and I shakily walk after him. We walk into a dark room. The first thing that hits me is that....wonderful smell. The smell of food! Freshly prepared. My mouth waters. The lights are turned on and I am greeted by along banquet table piled with all types of delicacies.
Whole roasted chickens, steamy warm bread, freshly prepared salads, pork chops, steaks, potatoes and gravy and even things I could never name. My stomach rumbles even more. I look up at Shredder. This is probably just another form of torture. But what he says next surprises me beyond belief.
"Eat."
I look back at the table. The food looks amazing and smells even better.
"No." I say defiantly.
Shredder walks over to the table and begins to fill a plate for himself and sits at a smaller table at the other side of the room.
I'm not forced to do anything. Razaar doesn't make me eat. My hunger soon wins over and I slowly make my way to the table with the food on it. I take a plate and just put a few things on it. I want to show Shredder that I still have enough self will to stay strong. I only get one roll and a small piece of chicken and a glass of water.
I am about to sit on the floor when Shredder pushes out a seat across from him and motions to it. I walk to it and sit down.
I begin to eat slowly but it is hard and soon I am stuffing my face. I finish the plate too soon and I'm still hungry. I look up at Shredder. I don't budge but then Razaar sets an over-flowing plate of food in front of me. I don't think twice before eating. I stuff myself until I feel like I might throw up.
I look at Shredder. He's just studying me. I push my plate away and glare at him.
"Do you know why I am doing this?" asks Shredder.
I cross my arms and shake my head.
"I'm offering you help."
"Help?!?!" I practically yell.
"I would NEVER accept help from you!"
Shredder laughs.
"You will."
And then I'm hit in the head.

I wake up dangling upside down by my feet in Stockman's lab. My head hurts really bad and I feel like I will throw up. I do as I am spinned around. I am lowered down to the ground by Karai. She looks anxious. After I am lowered, she helps untie me. I feel incredibly sick.
"Raphael! Are you okay?" she asks me. I groan as she puts my head on her knees.
"You were dangling for about three hours. Shredder wants you to join the Foot."
I squeeze my eyes shut as the voice comes back.
Raphael. Do it. Seek revenge on your brothers.
No! I won't!
I'll make you then. You will fall!
I shake my head and moan.
"No no no no no no....."
Karai begins to worry. She feels my forehead.
"Raphael, you're feverish." she says.
I barely can comprehend her voice. I begin to sweat. The voice continues to urge me to join the Foot.
Karai helps me to my feet. She gives me some water. I greedily drink it. She puts my arm over her shoulders and pulls me up. I stumble as we walk to my cell.
We get there and she sets me down. The voice is now screaming inside my head.
"Stop!!!!!" I scream as I collapse.
Karai kneels beside me. I scream.
The voice, after many minutes, finally subsides.
I hyperventilate as Karai strokes my head. My head is on her knees.
"Raphael? Can you hear me?"
I nod.
"Brother. You wouldn't respond for thirty minutes...."
"I'm fine!" I bark as I sit up.
She jumps back at my out burst.
"Just leave....." I say.
She does, closing the door behind her. She looks back at me again. She lowers her head and walks away.
I stare at the wall with the carvings of my family. I am suddenly filled with hate. My breathing begins to get faster and my heart beats with a sudden rage I didn't know I had. I stand and pick up a sharp stone. I walk to the carving of Donnie first. I begin to scratch it out violently.
"You always thought you were the smart one!" I shout. Next I go to the carving of Mikey. I begin to hack into the carving with my stone.
"Always innocent!" I yell at the top of my lungs.
Next to Splinter.
"I was never the preferred son!"
To Leo. I hack into the carving more than the others.
"You always thought you were better!"
I cut into the rock.
"Stronger!"
Again I hack.
"Smarter!"
I hack again.
I stand back to look at my work. The carvings are now unrecognizable.
I drop the stone.
"Goodbye Fearless."