Emerald Tulip

Chapter 15 The Group Meeting

Chapter 15-- The Group Meeting

I came out of my room later that day and went down the stairs to the inevitable group meeting and sat down on a big, green bean bag that I sunk into, I could feel the beans inside of the bag engulf me in a soft, comfortable way around my legs. In movies they always have those grey fold up chairs, but here, they had a mini bar full of water, juice and soft drink. They had three TVs and three PS3s around the room in each corner, which I was really shocked to see. It was a spacious room, a lot of room to move around and places to chill out. And lastly they had bean bags and lounges, which people would use to snuggle up together on. Apparently they were really serious about our being comfortable so we would share more about ourselves and really get used to living here. This was not only a chill out room, it is a group meeting room. Are all the other meeting rooms like this? I wondered. People would generally come down here if they're bored or need someone to talk to, I had got told that by someone whose been here a while.

There were six other teenagers that all had identical expressions; not wanting to be here, sadness, confused, hurt, betrayed, angry. I could totally relate.

There was a man that did sit on a fold up chair at the front of the room and he looked at all of us with warmth and understanding.

"We are here to both talk and listen to one another," he announced. " We want you to feel comfortable and at home here, as time will gradually pass I hope we can get to know each other better and make good friends with each other. Does anyone want to start?" He asked after his heartfelt speech and looked around the circle to find a volunteer, but everyone was shying away.

One girl, though, did put up a reluctant hand and said in a small voice, "I would." She glanced around the room and then looked up at the guy at the front.

"Okay, my name is Josh, what is your's? Why don't you start with why you're here and a little about yourself?" He asked looking at the small, black girl that I estimated to be the age of at least fourteen.

"I am Sharna, I'm fourteen, but I'll be fifteen in two months. I live with my dad because my mum ran out on us when I was a baby. I've been bullied at school a fair few times. Uh... And I started to self harm myself a year ago; my dad found out and he sent me here because we're like best friends and he was really worried." She ended with a shy nod toward Josh.

He smiled and looked at the next person who shook his head and sat back, looking at his clasped hands.

The next person perked up and said, "hey, I'm Rebecca but people just call me Becca, I'm 17 and I like horse riding. I owned a horse that had to be put down, I lost my best friend then." She looked down as she continued, a look of uneasiness on her face. "I live with my grandad, my parents died from a robbery in the bank and they got caught in the cross fire, I guess, when I was three. My grandad had no idea that I started to cut because of the bullying at school; people used to make fun of my weight. He found me doing it in the bathroom once and he didn't seem to think much of it yet, though he was still upset. The bullying got worse when a couple girls beat me up one day, I went home and tried to kill myself, only to wake up in hospital. That's when granddaddy decided to send me here." She told her story with a voice laced with sadness and embarrassment and a couple people were leaning in and reassuring her, touching her arm, saying it was alright.

I sat back and watched as everyone told their stories until everyone looked at me and I shied away, looking down at my feet, fiddling with my sweaty fingers, my nerves getting the better of me and anxiety rushing through my veins, my throat closing up, my face getting flushed, the tears stinging my eyes. I didn't feel like my story should be told yet so I declined to talk.

"It's fine, we only want you to feel as comfortable as possible before talking." After Josh had left the room and told everyone to just chill out in the room, I went up stairs and laid on my bed. I brought out my art book and began to draw. I drew a person in a crowd, the only one looking up as everyone else looked forward, the person's eyes filled with sadness and loneliness, only wanting someone to take their face in their hands and say, "stop looking up, and look forward to what your precious life has to offer". I looked up myself and said a little prayer to Piper, "I'm here, Piper, why did I have to live, only to be sent away? Piper, I love you, still. I will always love you. I don't know if I can move on." The tears started to stream down my face and I couldn't talk no more. I finished the prayer silently. "I'm gonna try to get better and make you proud, Piper." I looked down at the detailed, shaded grey with pencil, sad, very depressing drawing, I closed that book and told myself to grow up and deal with reality, again, I tucked my art book under my bed and collapsed back against my pillow, falling asleep, my body went limp and relaxed, because at least when I'm asleep I can escape this world and not face the consequences for every little move I make. It just kills me knowing that I'll wake up again sometimes soon, though.