MACKENZIE SAMUELS

{fourteen} MACKENZIE she feels more than we all first thought.

Mackenzie Samuels – 8th March.

3:15AM.

Instead of walking home which is what I shouted to Scott over the loud music at Jack's hours ago I'm sitting on a swing in an empty park way past Scott's house. It's just me, my cigarettes, the night sky and my destructive thoughts.

Today – although the early hours – is the two year anniversary of the death of the most wonderful man, my Dad. I feel as though I'm expected to be more emotional, maybe even crying or screaming about how unfair my life is. It may be because of the alcohol I've consumed tonight or I might just be too numb to my emotions.

I'm sad, of course I am. I'm borderline depressed about the fact that I no longer have my Dad in my life but I'm no more distressed right now than I was a few days ago about missing him. I miss him everyday not just on the anniversary.

The cool breeze blows the loose strands of my hair under my hoodie around and my legs gain goosebumps as I shiver slightly. It's safe to say Summer is no longer gracing us with warm weather.

It's hard to distinguish if the figures my eyes are trained on right now are two rubbish bins or two people. The park is very dimly lit which is actually a bit of a safety hazard. When the two rubbish bins start to move forward I determine that they are in fact people or possibly large dogs. Then I  hear laughter and cross out dogs on my mental list.

"Mackenzie?" Someone familiar asks as the figures get closer, I squint my eyes to get a better look.

"Cam?" I ask in confusion.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Ben wanted to go for a walk." He shrugs.

"At 3am?" I ask.

"You're out here to. Don't judge us." Ben huffs, slumping down on to the grass.

"Fair point." I say.

"Ignore him. He's just mad his parents aren't home. It appears they have forgotten his birthday once again." Cameron explains.

"Oh." I say.

"Happy Birthday." I tell Ben.

"Thanks." He mutters, clearly not feeling the birthday vibe right now.

9:37AM.

A knock at the front door wakes me from my slumber. I groan a little as I open my eyes the sunlight from the wide open curtains burning them. My head is pounding from the multiple vodka and cokes and mystery shots I drank last night. I lift my head from Cameron's lap and I turn my head slightly confused with my surroundings. Cameron is still snoring softly sound asleep. The banging on the front door continues and without much thought I stroll towards the noise.

I open the door abruptly and Ben's guests gasp at the sight of me. "Can I help you?" I ask semi politely. There's two girls and one boy.

"Uh, we, uh came to see Ben." One of the girls explains.

"Oh, right, of course." I say. "I don't know if he's awake. But I assume he's upstairs." I explain. I feel slightly exposed standing here in only a singlet and shorts with a bunch of complete strangers but I step out of their way inviting them in.

"Is Cameron here?" The same girl asks.

"Yeah, he's on the couch." I state.

"He wasn't kidding." The boy mutters and heads for the stairs I assume to look for Ben.

Well this is awkward.

"I'm Megan by the way." The talkative girl exclaims.

"And this is Hannah." She adds.