Love Runs Out

Chapter 20

And here I was again, waking up in yet another hospital room with Ryan by my side...he really had taken this whole 'Dad' thing in his stride. I couldn't want for more and I couldn't ask for a better man to be my Dad if I'm honest.

"Hey sweetheart" Ryan looked terrible, like he hadn't slept for days.

As I looked around the room I was made aware of the tube in my nose, it was oxygen "What happened?"

"Erm..." Ryan moved his chair closer to my bed, he took a deep breath and continued "You had another seizure but this time...the doctors found some swelling on your brain"

I was terrified and Ryan could see that "Oh my god" I gasped as tears clouded my sight.

"Hey its okay" Ryan perched on the end of my bed and moved some hair from my face "They have managed to relieve the pressure...and have put you on more medication to prevent it from happening again"

I nodded as bravely as I could "Nathan?" I suddenly remembered Nathan had been with us...god he must think I'm some kind of freak now...

"He's been here the whole time" Ryan half smiled "His Mom makes him go home at night to rest but he is usually back first thing in the morning and stays the whole day..."

"So he doesn't think I'm a freak..." I say out loud and Ryan chuckles.

"No honey, I think he likes you...alot"

Oh shit...I know exactly where this is heading "And..."

"And nothing, Nathan has proved how much he cares about you in the last few weeks and as long as he continues to...well what I'm trying to say is...its fine by me if you want to spend more time with him...by yourself I mean..."

I can't help but smile at Ryan's awkwardness talking about this stuff "Thanks" I reply quickly to save him from the situation.

"Oh you're awake" Nathan's voice came through the door at just the right time.

"Speak of the devil" Ryan smirked as he stood up "I'll give you guys some space" Nathan looked a little shocked "Oh and Nathan I don't need to give you the whole break her heart lecture do I?..."

"No sir" Nathan shook his head and I found myself laughing "I won't break anything I promise..."

"Good because I will break something if you don't keep that promise" Ryan's tone was a little harsh, but I couldn't be angry at him. His threat was coming from a good place. He was just a Dad trying to protect his daughter after all.

The more I thought about it the more I realised how comfortable I was referring to Ryan as my Dad.

"So how are you feeling?" Nathan sat in the chair Ryan had been sat in "You scared me to death by the way" he added.

"I know I'm sorry" I replied with half a smile. I wasn't sure if Nathan still felt the same about our kiss.

Ryan had left the room now "Apology accepted, I'm just glad my girlfriends okay" Nathan's eye had a cheeky twinkle in them.

"Girlfriend huh?" I smirked and he nodded eagerly.

"Yeah I mean, I've put in the time being here everyday with you, right? And I haven't ran a mile after the 'chat' with your Dad...who i hve to admit is pretty cool by the way" Nathan swayed off the point a little "Anyway surely that makes me qualify as boyfriend material?"

"Yeah okay you got me" I laughed at his efforts "I just thought after the seizure...well I thought it'd freak you out"

"Nah, my Mom's sister is Epileptic. She doesn't have many seizures but when she does they are bad ones" Nathan explained it to me and I felt a little more relaxed.

"Mia" Gen knocked gently on the door before opening it "The doctor wants to see you" a tall dark haired man followed Gen and Ryan into the room.

"Okay" I smiled and glanced quickly at Nathan, who looked incredibly awkward.

"I'll give you guys some..." He started and I cut him off.

"I'll want you to stay" I looked at Ryan "He is my boyfriend afterall" Ryan reluctantly nodded and Gen looked excited. No doubt I would have to tell her absolutely everything later.

"Right Miss Haw...Tedder" The doctor corrected his mistake "Sorry Miss Tedder, now as I explained to your Dad while you were unconcious. Unfortunately the seizures are having a massive effect on your brain, so much so that this last one caused some swelling"

"Yeah he told me" I replied looking between the doctor, Ryan, Gen and Nathan "What does it mean?"

"I'm afraid it means at some point in the future you will need surgery" my heart skipped "And judging by this last seizure I think it's safe to say this surgery will be needed sooner rather than later"

"And what about medication in the mean time" Ryan asked and Nathan took my hand, before perching on the bed "You said something about prevention med?"

"Yes we would like to try something before resorting to surgery, however finding the right medication under the circumstances is complicated" the doctor turned to Ryan and to be honest I felt very anxious about what he was about to say next. I had heard this before "Amelia's seizures aren't genetic, they were caused my her mother's misuse of illegal substances, namely heroin and Crystal Meth"

"I don't..." Ryan looked at me with a saddened expression, he looked ashamed. But not with me with himself.

"Amelia was born reliant on the drugs her mother took during pregnancy, she had such a high level in her system she needed to be weaned off them, and we are concerned that any drug we use to prevent the seizures could cause an unnecessary side affect as a result from the previous addiciton"

"Which basically means?" Ryan was getting agitated listening to the doctor basically tell telling him how badly my mom failed as a mother.

"It means the drugs we give Amelia could either make it better or worse, there is no way of knowing"

"So what your saying is the only way we will be able to manage the seizures properly is with surgery?" Gen tried to.make sense of it.

"I'm afraid so..."

Finally I found my courage and my voice "Why do I get the feeling you are holding something back? Something important? About surgery?" I ask and the doctor shuffles his feet.

"Because it's a very risky operation, with a 50/50 survival rate" The doctor stuttered as Ryan and Gen stared at one another. Nathan's hand was still gripping tightly onto mine as I felt my heart race in my chest Shit this was huge.