The Noticable Pain.

The Noticable Pain-Chapter 6

The Noticeable Pain- Chapter 6

What are dreams? What is the cause of them? Nobody really knows, but I want to know why. Ever since my parents died about 3 years ago I get dreams about their death and stuff like that. I'm guessing it was monday because I heard my door creak open and I heard someone call my name. I wasn't really one to wake up but I woke up anyway.

"sweetie, time for school." Auntie Elle said. I call her that because its sort of the same thing like Austins name, I couldnt pronounce her name right when I was little. I got up as I see Scar still sleeping on my pillow. Aw! So damn cute! I got up and walked to my bathroom getting undressed and stepping into the shower and getting washed off. I step out and I get dressed into yoga pants and a white long sleeve v-neck, hiding my cuts and scars. I put on my ugg boots over my pant legs and I throw my hair into a messy bun. I put light make up on making my blue eyes pop out alittle more. I grab my bag and walked downstairs.

"Hey beautiful!" Dave yelled.

"ahh, to much noise. and heey, and thanks!" I replied making my way to the counter and sitting down. "Can you drive me to school?" I looked at Dave and he smiled big. He nodded.

"Aren't you gonna be hot today Bri?" Austin looked at my outfit.

"We are getting a storm and the air in the school makes it feel like zero degrees." I stated matter of factly.

"Well miss I know everything" Austin rolled his eye. I just looked at him, giving him my devilish look. I heard thump thump and lottle scattered foot steps. Scar comes and runs to me. I sat down on the floor getting a big wet kiss on the lips.

"hi puppy." I smiled and looked at Scar putting him on the head. He layed down and started to whimper, its not like I wanted to leave him alone with Austin and Dave, they will give him all the love Scar needs, it's just I don't want to leave him here. I might take him to school, nobody has to know. I laughed alittle in my head. If people could read minds I would probably get the weirdest ass looks from people, and then when I get my suicidal thoughts people would either laugh, or try to save me. I didn't even notice that Dave was getting up and calling my name, I was so into thinking I didn't realize it was time to leave. I sighed and stood up grabbing Scar with me. "Bye Bye buddddy! I wove you to pieces!" I kissed him on the nose and I put him down. I grab my bag and phone and walk to the car. As I get inside Dave turns to me.

"Are you sure you okay to go to school?" He looked very very very concerned. personally I didn't want to go, I actually never want to go, but its life. "I can get you homeschooled if thats better for you. Since you're basically famous now."

"I'm not famous.. it's just, I'm known as Austin's baby cousin. I guess thats what happens when you are living with a super star. But I like the idea of getting homeschooled. Can I please get that?" He nodded as he pulled out his phone. After that i really didn't pay that much attention to what he was saying or doing. I just stared blankly out the window thinking. Thats all i seem to do anymore is think. I think about the bad shit in life though. The things like how i can help someone else and i can't even help myself.

-------

It is now about 10pm, and i'm not going to bed anytime soon. I have my music blaring in my eyes, taking over all my senses in my ears. I twirl my phone in my hands as it vibrates multple times.

Robertt<3;

Briannna! Hellooo! Briannna! Answer me!

Annna<3;

Brianna! Fucken answer your phone right now!

Ericaa;

Briibabbyy, please answer me! Or us! Pleasseee.

Adamm;

Brianna... You answer me this instince! Answer me right now hoefriendd. Please. You are more than that, that monster!

Okay, so i have been getting these worried text messages, because about 30 mintues ago, i have come to the conclusion of, of taking my own life. And i had to say goodbye somehow, so i texted my friends that im close to. You havent really met my bestfriend Anna, yet. Let me introduce you. She's almost like me, she does self harm, and is depressed like me, the best part is that she is head cheerleader of the cheerleading team at our school. It's amazing how the most beautiful and popular girl is friends with an emo freak like me. Well anyway, a couple of hours ago i was just ranting on about how the world is a fucked up place to live and stuff, and now, here i am. Here i am writing a suicide note saying why i decided to take my own lofe, why i have so many cuts and scars on my body, most of all, who i hate, and who i love. I looked at Scar who was sleeping on my pillow. He was so peaceful looking. I kissed his head and smiled. But the thing that broke my heart was how i might not ever see him again. It breaks my heart. Really.

' Dear whoever is reading this,

This is not how i wanted whoever found me to find me dead, i'm not made for this world anymore. I shouldn't have been brought here in the first place. Nobody really understands my pain! Nobody really cares! After all these years of lies flooding into my brain, i regret everything i ever said. I really don't know what im supposed to write in these, but i guess i will pour my heart out. I'm in love with this guy, who hates me, for no apparent reason, i don't understand why, but i want to. Feeling the pain of getting beaten,used,and just the words you hear is the worst. Ever since my parents died i have been not myself. I'm a monster. Or i was, even after im dead i still will be that monster i had become. Well, don't miss me, its my time to go... Goodbye friends..'

I grabbed my little black box, the one that holds my friend, i ended up getting it back from Dave and i slit my wrists about 3 times, each wrist. Then i wlked into my bathroom and i see the pills all lined up. I grabbed all whole much of them and swallowed them with a glass of water, i took about over 10 pills, not caring how many. Hopefully i die. I walk back into my room and i hold my note in one hand and my blade in the other i walk and grabs the bottle of pills. My head, my vison, my stomach, my everything is now slowly going numb. I slowly start to fall to the ground with a thud and i took the bottles of pills with me. Goodbye world as my eyes start to feel heavier than normal, my heartbeat starts to slow down and i hear the sound of knocking on my door. I watch as my hand starts to twitch upward and then back down letting go of my blade and my eyes become closed. Tightly.

Goodbye world, don't remember me.. I feel as my whole body goes numb and my eyes are glued shut.