The Noticable Pain.

The Noticable Pain-Chapter 10

The Noticeable Pain- Chapter 10

I looked at alex and i wiped my mouth. He got up and slowly backed away. no.. come on alex.. please don't do this..

"No.. no! it can't be." I started to tear up.

"I'm positive Alex... I'm pregnant.." i let the tears slip as i watch Alex tear up.

"I can't.. no. i need to go.." And with that, he ran downstairs. I started to cry harder than ever before. I got up and quickly shut my door. No Bri.. no. Don't do it! I went into my draw, digging with it, until i found my silver shiny friend. I have been clean for about three months now, i have been happy them three months. I watched as i put the blade to my unwanted thigh. I closed my eyes as it starts to burn with each cut. I can't believe he just ran out like that! I HATE HIM! I hate him! I made a couple more cuts and i decided to get into the shower. I can't believe i'm pregnant.. i put my hands on my stomach.

"Your mommy is a big mess baby.." i frown. "But mommy will always love you."

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A month has gone by, and Alex has been with me. He came to apologize at how stupid and reckless he was.. I told him about me cutting my thigh, and he made me throw all my sharp things away, expecially now that i'm pregnant. It kills me to know my baby will grow up without a perfect beautiful mom. It hurts me so much. Sometime's when im alone, i cuddle into a ball and cry my eyes out screaming things. Things like how i will be a bad mom, and etc. I know i will be a bad mother. I'm scared of what will happen. I walked to my dresser pulling out a shoe box. I smiled slightly sniffling alittle. Right in this box holds my life, my everything. I took the lid off it and a whole bunch of pieces of papers fell out. My letters to my parents, to everyone. I picked up the pieces of paper and decided to take a nap, I put the box away and slid under my blankets. Tomrrow Austin and Alex will be telling their fans that i'm pregnant and I wasn't looking forward to it. I didn't realize that I was crying until I felt warm salty tears hit my lips. I wasn't ready for this, no teenager is. I curled farther into my blanket when i let out a sob. i can't do this! Everyone is counting on me to be strong, but i'm not and nor i ever was! And that was the last thing i thought of that night.

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I woke up the next morning, extremely tired and hungry. I climbed out of bed and walked into my bathroom. I looked in my mirror and groaned, what the actual fuck? I look like i'm from the show 'The Walking Dead'. I sighed and stripped from my clothes, i turned on my shower. While i was letting the water heat up i turned on my side and saw my belly starting to get bigger. i'm not far along, but you can tell, or manybe i can't. I shrugged it off and stepped into the shower. Let's just say it was amazing. After i was done with everything i wrapped my towel around my body. I walked out into my room and locked the door. Dropping my towel i grabbed my hot pink lace bra and underwear out of my dresser and put them on. I then grabbed my black lacey dress with my hot pink waist belt thats attachtched to it and slide it on, clipping my belt to it. I pulled my light jean jacket and grabbed my all white vans and slide them on. I went into my bathroom again and brushed my hair and teeth. I braided my hair to the side and started doing my make up lightly. my masscra and my eye liner made my blue eyes pop out. I smiled and grabbed my phone, heading downstairs. I might look like shit, but i feel amazing! My stomach then growled loudly, i chuckled loudly.

"Take cover! Sounds like a monkey is coming in!" Austin yelled. I glared at him and went into the kitchen looking for some food.

"Goddamnit! how hard is it to find food in here!" i heard multiple laughs. Okay? There should only be three. That was more like 6. I turned around and i saw my boyfriend, Austin, Robert, Zach, Peyton and Dave. My face turned really hot and i laughed awkwardly.