Space Kid ➸ Phan [texting]

xxv

sad kid dan : i think my display name is appropriate

sad kid dan : do you agree

sad kid dan : i just miss you, you know?

sad kid dan : you think that you've forgotten about someone

sad kid dan : and then your phone goes off and you think its them

sad kid dan : or you see someone with similar clothes on the street

sad kid dan : and stop in your tracks because you wanna speak to them

sad kid dan : but its not the person you though it was

sad kid dan : or going to a coffee shop and sitting on the sofa

sad kid dan : and remembering that you used to sit there

sad kid dan : then a person near you gets your favourite drink

sad kid dan : and the smell reminds me of you

sad kid dan : you beat yourself up about it

sad kid dan : because you know that they're gone

sad kid dan : because they're not gonna text

sad kid dan : because they're not in your town

sad kid dan : because they're not going to tell you to draw a christmas tree on the foggy window

sad kid dan : because they're not going to give you their drink to hold to keep your fingers warm

sad kid dan : in a way, it seems dreamlike

sad kid dan : nightmarish, even

sad kid dan : there's one difference

sad kid dan : in nightmares, you can wake up

sad kid dan : i'm tossing & turning & covered in sweat

sad kid dan : screaming; but no sound is coming out

sad kid dan : but i just can't WAKE UP, phil.

read by 'philly✧ ' at 5:16am