【SAO】 Life in Skyrim

Sec. 2 【BSing the Escape】

"Dude," DN says as we crouch in front of the keep, watching the NPCs and players run for their lives. We managed to elbow through a crowd without being trampled on.

"Dude, what?" Kurt replies. "We're like, in a live-action roleplay thing and rocks are shooting from the sky and all you can say is dude?"

We both look at the sky and scatter once a boulder shoots through the air, the pebbles bouncing off the ground and landing in our faces. We regroup once the coast is clear. "No, I mean this is a videogame, right? And you don't actually get hurt?"

"I disagree," Darth groans, rubbing his eyes. "Dust just went in my eyes, and I can say it's painful as fuck."

"Yeah, I think someone just stepped on my foot," I tell them, shaking off my uncomfortable foot wraps. All of us are in these ugly prisoner clothes.

DN shakes his head. "Well, that's general pain. I mean can creatures afflict harm on us? You know, like if we get shot or something our health only goes down, but we can't feel it."

"Why don't you test it out?" Kurt asks.

Personally, I believe there is always at least one idiot in a group. And that idiot is Deez Nuts.

I'm not making a joke about it. If you haven't heard, the only reason DN is named DN is because that doofus set his name to Deez Nuts in the system, unaware that'd be his permanent name in this world. His real name is actually Matthew, but we won't be calling him that anytime soon. His title will forever be Deez Nuts in the game system. Or for us, DN.

To remind everyone, Darth is the lizard, real name is Kevin, Kurt is the Wood Elf, DN is the Nord, and I'm Kelly, also a Bosmer.

"Yoooo!" DN calls out to Alduin, waving his arms in the air as if signalling a plane. "Yo, dragon, we stole your baby!" He points to Darth. "A lizard, just like you!"

"DN, what the hell?" Darth yells out, the screams of the people drowning out our conversation. "Get back here!"

"No!" DN shouts back with a grin. "I'm going to prove to people that this game is safe and - "

Soon, there is a high-pitched scream from DN as Alduin breathes a line of fire towards his way. "Into the keep!" Kurt commands us, opening the door until each one of us is inside.

DN enters last, his arm red and burnt to the point he looks like a random redneck in Skyrim. "News flash, we can get hurt."

"What a surprise..." I mutter, digging in an unlocked chest for a health potion. I toss it to DN, who's whimpering from his sizzling forearm. "When we find more potions, we can't use them up. Remember, there aren't any console commands so we can't spawn anything out of nowhere."

"Well, none of us have any fighting experience, do we?" Kurt asks all of us, grabbing a key from the hook above a chest.

"Real life?" I ask. "No."

"Nope," says Darth.

"I take kickboxing," DN speaks up, utterly surprising all of us. He smirks, balling his hands into fists as he swings at an imaginary target.

Darth fidgets uncomfortably. "Um... I know it's rude to talk about the ouside world, but how old are you guys? I'm twenty," he tells us.

"Sixteen, Junior in high school," DN says.

"Thirteen, freshman in high school," I announce.

"Nineteen, first year in college," says Kurt.

Ah crap, I'm the baby of the group.