Quick note: the short little song at the end is an original from Shawn I couldn't find the video online but it's on his Instagram if you want to here it I think I almost cried.
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One
Two
Three
I count the endless white tiles on the ground. Just trying to keep my mind off her. Off this. My foot taps the white tiles nervously and uncontrollably.
One
Two
Three
I start to count the tiles.
Four
Five
Si-
What if she's not okay what if she's.......what if she-
I shake my head of that horrid thought.
One
Two
Three
I begin again
Four
Fiv-
This is my fault. This is all my fault. What have I done.....what have I done!
My vision starts to get blurry. I can't count the tiles anymore. I can't concentrate. I-I just can't. Tears start streaming down my face. I try to wipe away the tears. I try to hold them back. I try. I try with all my might. But you can only try so hard.
I run my fingers through my hair. I stand up. I look around. Our parents are sleeping. Cam is wide awake looking into space. I walk up to the receptionist.
"I-um-do-you-um." I can't even speak. She looks at me with concern. I let out a frustrated sigh. " is um she gonna be okay?"
"The doctors are trying their best, it's a very tough situat-"
"Is she going to be okay." I ask firmer.
"Listen I can only imagine what your going through but this is 9th time you asked me in the past half hour." I look down." You look tiered maybe you should get some rest." She say getting out of her chair and starting to guide me to a chair.
"I'm fine. I need to stay up when she wakes up. I need to be here. I need to be the first person she sees!" I say a bit too loud.
I draw some attention from other nurses.
I clear my throat.
"I-I'm sorry." I mumble.
"Here I got him." Someone says from behind me I turn around to see Cam. The nurse nods. "You want to go get some coffee?" I think about it. What if she wakes up while I'm gone...
"Shawn,it'll be fine, she'll be fine."
****
I stir the coffee around in the cup absentmindedly.
"So you couldn't sleep either?" Cam asks from the other side of the table.
I shake my head in response. "Listen Shawn, I'm sorry for being harsh on you earlier, I-I just care about Emily. She's like a sister to me." He says staring down at his coffee.
"No, your right, this is my fault. If I would've picked up my phone. If I would have worked something out on campus that night and not have left her, if I just would have called her while I was on tour, we wouldn't be here, she wouldn't, she wouldn't-" I couldn't finish my sentence.
"Shawn this is not your fault. It's no ones fault. You love her,she loves you,but you just can't seem to find common ground, and that's okay. Love has obsticals, and that's okay, because what's love without the struggles, without the obstacles? Shawn, no love is perfect. It isn't a fairy tale, or a storybook, and it doesn't always come easy. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and never letting go. It is a short word easy to spell, difficult to define, and impossible to live without. Love is work, but most of all, love is realizing that every hour, every minute, and every second was worth it, because you did it together. Without obstacles love is worthless."
***
"Emily Johnson?" My heads snaps up to see a doctor holding a clipboard. I quickly get up and walk towards him, Emily's parents and Cam follow behind me.
"Is she okay?" I being the first to ask. He looks down at his board slowly looks back up with a frown.
"Im sorry." Those two simple words broke my heart. He clears his throat to continue. "We tried our best, as of right now she's on life support. Were just hoping she'll make it through the night."
My body trembles and my vision becomes blurry as tears make their way down my cheeks.
"C-can I see her?" I ask .
The doctor looks hastily at Emily's parents they nod.
He let's out a sigh
"Very well then."
***
I quietly walk inside the room slow beeps come from the heart monitor. I sit down in front of her. Her once flawless skin is covered in scratches and bruises. Her warm hands are now ice cold. Her beautiful smile is now in a straight emotionless line. I put her hand in between both of mine and bring it up to my lips where I blow warm air into it to give them some warmth. Hot tears cascade down my face.
"E-Emily." I croak out
She doesn't move an inch. I open my mouth not knowing what to say. More tears come. I sob into her arm, still holding onto her hand.
"I'm never letting go." I sniffle. "Emily please don't let go..." I take a shaky breath. "I-I need you. I was too self centered I wasn't thinking about you.... I-I can't lose you. Not now. Not ever. You always bring a smile to my face. And without you hear how am I going to smile again. How am I going to be happy again."
I stay silent for a while. Just looking at her. Lost in thought. I start to hum a soft simple melody. My mouth opens as I sing quietly, and softly.
"What if I told you a story,
All about someone who loved you.
What if I told you he's sorry he made you wait.......
What if I told you he's dying cause he can't change history
What if I told you that someone......
was me..."
ESTÁS LEYENDO
Shawn Mendes Fanfic~ Just Friends?
Fiksi Penggemar"It's hard to pretend to be "Just Friends" with someone special, When every time you look at that person, all you see is everything you want to have."
