CONFUSED

IRRATIONAL

Sometimes all you need is someone who can comfort you and support you, just for a mere reason that it's hard to survive after something bad has happened.

The conversation between me and Mr Handsome became more as days passed and we started sharing everything about us to each other.

My dad was getting insecure about me and he insisted me on reducing conversations with Mr H but somehow I don't know why, I wasn't ready to do that.

Everything about me started changing my opinions, choices and concern. I had no idea where this was heading towards. Mr H's birthday was nearing and I was pretty excited and I wanted to make it very special for him and make him happy and I didn't want him to feel her absence.

The first time I felt something for him was very special to me. It happened that it was a holiday due to kalam sirs demise we had some submission the following day so I had to get some stuffs for it and he had,too. So we planned to meet up and get it.

I don't know the reason behind the happiness I had at that moment. We are friends and we see each other often in college but meeting him in a public place was something very exiting to me. I went to the place but he was continuously playing games in his phone.

After buying stationary we went to the nearest chat shop and spent some time there and I finally realized it was time to leave and I just couldn't resist the feeling that he was leaving and we part ways to get back home.

I were to cross the road and move to my right to get a share-auto and he would go left. That moment, I just felt some spark inside of me. He waved at me and left but I couldn't take my eye's off him.

Heading back home after all this in my head it just struck me that the kind of feeling that i was getting is totally absurd. But I couldn't explain it enough.

I kept telling myself that it's not good because I know what he has been through his love life and I know what it meant to him. I felt so stupid of myself that moment.

The helpless feeling I was going through was very difficult for me to handle but I was just stuck in deep thought and feeling insane.