Chapter 2. Try?
"Marley! Get up!"
Must everyone yell at me? I moved my hand around on my bed grabbing the first pillow I found.
"I'm serious Marls!" Dad shouted.
Although the pillow was now conveniently smothering my ears I could still here him.
Closing my eyes I listened to my heartbeat. Wanting nothing more than to fade away, just completely disappear. Why did everyone have to have a problem with that?
The bang from my door ripped me from my thoughts. I got up annoyed and ready to yell, my usual preparation before dealing with dad.
"You said afternoon, it is not the afternoon so what do you want?!" I shouted while opening the door. I crossed my arms as he took a step back.
"Taylor called earlier, asked if you could meet her at 11 on the footy field. And you need to start packing, you'll be picked up at 3" he said handing me a suitcase.
"Lovely" I smiled sarcastically, turned and slammed the door.
I just rolled my eyes not bothering to face him when I heard it open again. Instead I moved to my closet grabbing some jeans and a band singlet, good enough I thought.
"Marley don't hate me for this" his voice was soft. I breathed out heavily throwing more clothes near the suitcase.
"The hate began way before this" I replied.
"You have every right to hate me, I understand that."
"Then why try? Why bother?" I asked, my voice cracked as I held down the tears.
"You are my daughter, I love you and after" he stopped "I'm not losing you"
"You don't get to decide when I mean something to you and when I don't! Why is it okay for you to come back into my life?!" I gripped the frame of the bed as I yelled. I wanted to scream at him till my voice was gone, I wanted him to feel what he made me feel.
"You almost took your own life! Twice!" he shouted, I gasped. I'd never heard him say it before.
Tears streamed down both our cheeks. The raw emotion pressed against my chest and I felt winded.
Hearing someone else say it, hearing tell me hurt. It made it real, harsh and real.
All the reasons of why I do and don't want to flooded my mind, just like in the hospital. Nothing ever became clearer, it just created an unbearable ache in my heart.
"Jesus Marley, we have to try something okay?" he sobbed.
When he left the room I sat on the floor leaning against the bed, I pulled my legs close holding myself tightly.
I told a different reason to every counselor I saw, eventually I wouldn't even talk during the sessions.
I had reasons to be upset and depressed, but even then I never saw them as my motivation as one lady called it.
I just haven't found anything that makes me want to stick around.
I picked at the grass while I waited for Taylor, she knew I was going away, Freeman probably told her.
I smiled and waved as I saw her coming over. She collapsed next to me worn out from school, I joined her laying back and soaking up the sun.
"It's some Youth camp" I explained to Tay after she asked what was up. And after bagging the crap out of it we lay in a comfortable silence.
Tay and I had never spoken about my 'attempts', and I didn't know how she'd react to me bringing it up. I decided to anyway.
"Dad thinks it'll stop me from... Ahh" shit! How am I meant to put this?
"I know what you mean it's okay" her eyes seemed distant as she spoke.
"It scares me you know, losing you. I don't know if I could" she looked at me and I looked away, every word she said made the guilt increase.
"Fucks sake Marley look at me!"
I turned back to her and was pulled into a hug.
"Promise me you'll try"
"I promise" I replied.
Honestly though, I don't know if I will.
I stood outside the camp grounds staring up at the sign.
TYH 'Troubled Youth Home'.
"Wow creative name" I laughed to myself.
"The place is better than the name, trust me" I heard in an Irish accent, I turned behind me to see a cute blonde girl. Her hair was short and her green eyes sparkled. For a troubled teen she didn't look so troubled.
"I'm Rosy, Rosy Mullan" she smiled extending her hand. I took an immediate liking to her, she seemed genuine and easy to be around. Someone I'd need here!
"Marley Collins" I smiled back shaking her hand.
"Well judging by the amount of time you've been staring at the front of this place I'm guessing your a first timer?" picking up her bags as she spoke she walked into the camp, I hesitantly did the same.
"Yeah. What's the deal? What do we do?" I asked while scanning the area.
"We meet in the common room, then you choose your roommate"
"But I don't know anyone" I felt nerves kick in the further we walked.
"Did that handshake and saying of the names mean nothing to you? I'll be your roommate alright?" she smiled.
I nodded smiling back.
"Is that all?" I began my questions again.
"Nope then you get your letter assigning you your guide, they are pretty much your counselor" She explained not waiting for me to ask her
"But you do other stuff with them, activities to find yourself for example" She changed her voice at the end, taking the piss out of it. Yep, I'm definitely gonna get along with her.
When we arrived at our cabin we unpacked, Rosy had tried asking a few more personal questions but stopped after realizing I wasn't much for sharing.
I was sitting on the veranda when Rosy came out to join me, handing me my letter.
"Sweet as! I got Darcy" she beamed. She told me about him, he a year or two older than us but from what she said he sounded like a decent guy, I got the feeling Rosy fancied him a little but she just laughed and denied it when I asked her.
"Well come on, open it up" she pointed to the envelope.
I didn't really want to, I wasn't ready to be told what to do by some 'guide'. But I promised Tay I'd try, so I guess this is a start.
"Ruby Price" I read out, then set the letter down in the table.
"What?" I asked Rosy who stared at me with a small smile and a devious look in her eye.
"You'll see" with that she was off, something about Darcy I didn't hear the rest.
I relaxed into the chair, shaking my head.
What am I doing here? And what's so special about Ruby Price?
