Sink or Swim

Chapter 2 : its up to me!

"Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock,tick, tock" I sit keeping the rhythm and chanting in unison with the clock. The doctors have exhausted their options to which each test they ran came back negative. I was more annoyed than frustrated at them, mainly because I've been telling them that I'm not crazy and as everyone else, they didn't believe me. I grew numb to emotions such as love, care, hope, faith or those involving comfort. I completely erased any memories of happiness from early childhood, because they did nothing but promote foolish hopes of a great adulthood or at least that the probability exists. Me ending up here was all Carmen's fault, that jealous b*t*h. I'm certain she paid them to keep me here. Carmen Raymond was the daughter of Joseph Raymond, the owner of the multimillionaire law firm in Manhattan. I was fostered by Mrs. Raymond who thought Carmen needed a companion, but 'oh boy!! was she ever so wrong!'. Carmen was the combination of both 'Anastasia and Drisella' of Cinderella, she was the 'Maleficent to Sleeping Beauty', she was the 'Ursula to the little mermaid'. My point is she was deviant, cruel and the definition of any bad character you could think about. From the minute I entered the house she made it her duty to continue my journey from hell and back. She did everything in her power to make me look bad.

"I have a desperate urge to light each house on fire and watch them all die a painful and torturous death, just like my innocence did." I began to explain to the institute's psychiatrist.

"I hate the fact that I trusted them, I loved them wholeheartedly, and as naive as I was, I cared for them the way I so desperately wanted to be cared for. They all betrayed me. It is because of them I am forever broken, love is at last foreign to me and I no longer wish to be apart of it." As I explained she wrote profusely. She asked questions like 

"So what would you say to your mother if you saw her today?"

"In all honesty I won't even look at her",  I replied bitterly. I knew for a fact that I was lying, the truth is I've built up so much anger in my heart for her that nothing good would be said, I just never thought of it thoroughly as yet.

"How do you think you would feel after you burn their houses down with them inside?" She asked again,

"I know I would feel a great deal of satisfaction, they would finally feel exactly how I felt , especially Curtis, oh I hate that man!!", I close my eyes in disgust and immediately my stomach churned in agreement.

"It's clear to see that you are not mentally challenged but you are emotionally challenged. I can do nothing but offer you some advice; no matter how painful your past has been, it still has nothing to do with your future . what happened during your childhood was beyond your control,now its up to you to take control of your future or let your future control you."

Although my determination to 'never be fooled into believing that there was hope' was strong, her words really resided with me, slightly persuading me to believe that there was. The psychiatrist informed me that the Asylum was no place for me and that I should be released  in a couple weeks for the most. Despite the fact that I've been considering whether I should take revenge or not, I knew that living a normal life would not be easy.

****** 

Each day passed and I sat there growing impatiently, I channeled my anger forcefully. I wanted Curtis to pay, I wanted mom to pay, I wanted uncle Tom to pay, I wanted Carmen to pay. I wanted them all to feel what I felt and I wasn't going to let them stop me.

*****

"Ms. Reid?, this is your letter, please sign here and follow these procedures then you are free to go"

I grinned mischievously.

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Hey guys ....this is my first time doing this and I really hope you are enjoying the book so far. I've worked really hard on this and I want your feedback. Please remember to vote, share and comment!!!

P.S. comment what you think will happen next!!!!

~love Nikki~