"So is today a special day for you?"
Flashes of the Dean's misdeed mixed with remembrances of the many arguments they shared flashed through Soria's mind and she felt herself answering quite easily. "Yes it is."
"What is it?"
"It's my freedom day."
"Ah, won hard I see."
"All freedom is I guess."
"True, very true."
The moment of strength flooded Soria temporarily, and for a second she felt her heart lighten from the weight of the ache. She recalled the ache of love, with and without Dean and suddenly felt hopeful that she would find true love as Josh described.
“Thank you Josh.”
“For what Soria?”
“For giving me hope, something I did not have when I got on the bus tonight. I meant what I said earlier, your wife is very lucky.”
“I wish that were true.” Josh’s eyes turned down and for the first time since he had begun speaking Soria noted a sense of sadness.
She felt she needed to reciprocate the lift of emotion as he had done for her. “I thought you said what was important was how your loved one made you feel about yourself?”
“I did.”
“Well then you should feel fantastic and lucky, for you are a wonderful man to an apparently wonderful woman. Come now, how many years have you been married.”
“Five, just five.”
“Why you’re practically newlyweds.” Soria exclaimed. “Is this the paper anniversary then?” She searched around Josh for a hint of the present to be given to his wife only to slowly realize that the man was carrying no items on him.
“You are thinking that I should have a wrapped box or flowers.”
Soria nodded her furiously. “No, perhaps you left it at home?”
The bus stopped quite noisily as the sun blanketed the area outside in light. Soria looked out the windows and took in the cold docile tombstones that stood just beyond the iron gates. Her gaze slowly trailed back from the wood lined resting spots to the face of the man who had given her hope just moments before, his motions slow as he rose to exit.
“You didn’t forget them.”
“No, no I didn’t. No need for them here.”
Soria watched as Josh fingered the familiar gold band nervously, his body dragging in direct contrast to his previous excitement.
“How sad.” She thought out loud.
“He comes every year you know.”
Soria jumped, re-awakened by the response of the bus driver who had closed the doors as they sat idly.
“Every year?” Soria moved to the opposite bench to finish watching Josh’s slow walk towards a tree seemingly alone amongst the stone. She could make out the dark silhouette of a single female standing just under the shade of the branches, her hair flowing elegantly in the wind.
“Yup every year. Just to see her.”
Soria could see Josh stop just short of the lone woman, his hands held just inches from the woman’s frame. “Seems a weird place to meet for an anniversary, a bit morbid don’t you think.”
The bus driver huffed a bit before changing gears on the bus, pulling the vessel slowly away from the stop. “Not much of choice is there?”
“What do you mean?
“Well him being dead and all.”
Soria pulled her gaze from the scene in the cemetery. She thought for a moment that she must have misheard the bus driver. “I’m sorry; I thought you just said he was dead.”
“That’s because he is, and so are you.”
“This is not a good day for jokes ma’am.”
“Technically it’s not a good day for anything for you.”
Soria could feel the air escape her lungs, or had it not been there to begin with. She slapped her hands on her body frantically, her eyes locked on the bus driver for the laughter she hoped was coming.
“Check your pulse.”
Soria slowly drew her fingers down to her wrist, inhaling a drag of air as she tried to steady the shake that overtaken her. She waited moments, minutes, until she could hold still no longer.
“How is this possible?”
“You got hit by a bus when you ran out Hun. Bit of touch and go I’m afraid.”
“But I got on the bus.”
“Your soul did yes.”
“And Josh?”
Both the bus driver and Soria’s eyes trailed back to the cemetery, the scene unchanging in the distance. Soria could see clearer now, Josh’s wife’s shoulders heaving as if in pain, her eyes reddened with the acidic tears that flowed freely. Josh eyes held the same vast pain, but she knew it was for the powerlessness he had to comfort her.
“How.”
“Cancer, manifested rather quickly he told me. He said he held on till their fifth anniversary just for her, but after that, his body just could take it no longer.”
“Why is he the only one on the bus with me?”
The bus driver’s gaze trailed up to the rear view mirror, capturing Soria’s confused look. “It just happens that way sometimes. Sometimes the souls ride the bus alone, sometimes they need to meet someone for a reason. Never can tell, I just drive you all back love.”
Soria searched her memories for a link to Josh, a reason why he would be her bus mate. As she watched the two lovers standing amongst the grave stones, their souls so close even as they stood in different dimensions, Soria could feel her eyes were welling with tears, tears for the greatness of a love she would never experience. Josh’s great love story had been ended so young, and felt so hard. She watched as Josh’s love trailed the letters of his name, her ring visible even from a distance as if in honor of the man that loved her passionately enough to fend off death.
“Its how they make you feel about yourself…” Soria whispered to herself
“What hon?”
“I never let someone make me feel loved.”
Soria looked at her bags; in the harry of the moment she had grabbed only the most essential of items, clothes, toiletries, nothing that reminded her of the men she had allowed to share her life. Not one had been afforded an unconscious thought, yet she had given them her own life in return.
“It was my fault.”
The bus driver looked back and offered Soria a sympathetic smile. “Bit useless to establish guilt now Hun.”
The sky outside the windows seemed to darken as the bus vibrated back and forth as if making its way down a cobblestone street.
“I guess you’re right.” Soria sighed and watched as the images around her swirled out of focus.
