Real or Not Real?

I woke up stiff. I couldn't move, my body was numb and I felt as if I was paralysed. I tried to scream but nothing was happening, no sound was leaving my mouth, I thought I was dying. I wish I was dead, there's nothing here in this world for me anymore - my sister was killed by my best friend, my father was blown to bits in a mine explosion, my lover is hijacked and tries to kill me any chance that he gets. There's no point in me living, I wish I was dead. I wish we were all dead.

Suddenly I jump up, the beads of sweat pouring down my forehead- my breath short and sharp. "Shh, shh," Peeta hushes, pulling me into his arms and holding me in a way that could make me forget even the darkest of times. "You were dreaming of the past again weren't you?" He whispers as I nod my head into his chest, my body trembling slightly. "It's okay, we're okay. We're all safe," I release a deep breath, playing my own game of real of not real in my head. My name is Katniss Mellark, I am married to Peeta. We have two beautiful children. We're a family and we are safe.

"Where are my babies?" I pant, "I need to see my babies, where are they, Peeta? Snows taken them!" I scream in hysterics.

"They're sleeping, Kas," he whispers into my hair, pulling my body closer to his to try and stop me from shaking.

"No Peeta, Snow's taken them, he's going to take you from me next, this can't happen," I cry, covering my ears and curling into a ball, shaking and crying at the thought of Snow taking away my babies.

I feel Peeta shift off the bed and I hear the familiar click of his prosthetic, he patters across the room with a sigh and out of the door.

"Daddy, where's mummy? Is she okay? I can hear her crying from my room and I got worried," Bow whimpers, as I presume he picks her up in his arms.

"Your mummy's fine baby girl, she's just scared and she wants to see you and your brother. So run along down into our room and give her a big hug and a kiss and tell her that you're here and that you love her," Peeta says softly, popping Bow on her feet and kissing her forehead.

"Mummy, mummy," I hear Bow call as her feet patter down the hallway. She stops at the doorway, peering around cautiously before I smile at her- a sea of relief flooding through me. "Mummy are you still scared?" She asks, pushing herself up onto the bed as I open my arms up for her to crawl into. She slots into my side, wrapping tiny arms around my body as I rest on chin on her head, kissing her chestnut curls.

"Not anymore darling, not anymore," I whisper wearily, holding and rocking her tightly as the tears start to dry and I'm left feeling nothing. "I love you Bow," I sigh, kissing her again.

"I love you too mummy, don't cry," she whispers, peering up at me and placing her chubby fingers on my cheek, wiping my tears. "Daddy, mummy isn't scared no more," she lisps, looking up at Peeta, who places our blonde boy onto the sheets beside us.

"Thank you, Peeta," I whisper as my baby boy bum shuffles into my arms to be closer to me and his sister. "Muma," he giggles, patting my cheek with his hand. His face drops when he must feel a tear on my cheek and he instantly drops his hand and starts to whimper. "Baby boy don't cry," I whisper, sitting up and lifting his body into my lap, drying his eyes with the back of my forefinger. "Muma your cheek wet," he whimpers. I can't help but smile, my little baby boy getting sad because his Muma is sad, he's precious.

"Mummy's happy now, she's seen the both of us, there's no need to cry you're a big boy, and big boys don't cry. Right daddy?" Bow says softly to her brother, asking Peeta for confirmation.

"That's right princess," Peeta smiles, sitting down beside us all on the bed. He leans over, kissing my temple gently, his lips lingering a little longer than usual. "It's alright Kat. They're here, we all are," he murmurs before pulling away and pulling Bow up onto his knee. I press our boy into my chest, holding him tight and swaying him side to side.