Finally, at last I realize that I don't matter to him.
No matter what I do, no matter what I wear, no matter how my world revolves around him, it doesn't matter to him.
Right from the start, you don't care, but I was so blinded for what I feel for you, I didn't see what is obvious.
It always been you but it didn't matter. I'm always thinking what should I do to make you like me the way I always like you. I give everything I could, but you don't know how to appreciate me and my efforts.
You are always sweet to all. You always do. Now, it finally hit me. I don't matter to you.
You will never notice that I'm gone. You will never notice that I stop running after you. It didn't matter that I'm so tired I almost lost my everything along my way just to be with you. All of that didn't matter to you.
I don't matter to you, that's the painful truth. Now, I know why moving on is so difficult.. It's because I can't accept that you don't care and I'm nothing to you.
Some people pity theirselves for being an option, how 'bout you're not even included in his list of his options? It was heart breaking realization and the saddest part is, you can't do a thing about it.
I can't make you love me, no matter how hard I want. I need to accept that because it's the only way to set me free from you.
I realize now, accepting the things I can't change can set me free. I want to forget how much my world turns for you, how stupid I can get so you can notice me and how pathetic I look like just get your attention.
It finally hit me that I want to be free from my love for you. It was suffocating and it was slowly painfully killing me. Maybe that's why you leave me, I suffocate the hell out of you.
Now, I want to save every broken pieces of me from breaking again. I will build a wall and accept the fact that you're not coming back to love me.
I don't want to be the same idiot that can't stop smiling when I see you smile at me, the same idiot that begged for your attention, the same idiot that fantasize you as a prince charming, the same idiot who loves you unconditionally and I don't want to be the same idiot that you've left behind.
I will fix my broken pieces and make it whole again no matter how long it will take me, it will not matter because If I survive this then I can survive a life without the thoughts of you, I will be free and be genuinely happy like I've never been before.
