Letters To Suicidal

t h r e e

"Dear . . . Kyler?

You replied to me.

Now it's my turn to reply to you.

Thank you.

You've made me realize - even if it's for a short period of time - that I'm not alone. You've told me a part of your life, I should tell you more of mine.

When I was only a young child, I would always see families smiling and laughing together, having a picnic, playing in a park, eating together. I would always think: "I'd never experience that." It was true. In my childhood, I didn't get a single picnic. I didn't get a chance to play with someone. I didn't get a chance to have ice cream or eat in a restaurant. I wasn't sung to by a family I would call my own. I would cry every time I see a family like that.

When I reached the age of 9, I started seeing the horrible parts of life. How I'll never have a family. How I'll never be able to call someone "Mom" or "Dad".

Then I became a twelve year old. My orphanage had let me go, because they only accept children under the age of twelve. I lived on the street for years. I was homeless, hungry, and loveless.

Are you sorry for me Kyler?

You should be.

My landlord had scolded me today, saying if I didn't pay rent, he'd tell the officials. That's just going too far isn't it? An unpaid rent. You don't need to inform the police. Now I'm in danger of being a wanted criminal.

I went job hunting today. I found a job at a movie theater at the snack bar, and one as a clerk in a popular department store. Which one should I choose, Kyler? I don't make good decisions most of the time. Maybe you do. Do you?

I miss calling you stranger. Even if it was only one time. Do you think I could call you 'Stranger' once more, Kyler?

You know, I think you're strange. But I also think you're pretty nice. You wanted to help me, a complete stranger, nobody, someone others wouldn't care less for.

Stranger, you know what you're doing?

You're making yourself an outlet for me. You're becoming my rock. Most people would have thought I was crazy and dump my letter to the floor, but you, you didn't. What made you reply to me?

Sweetly, Suicidal"

The brown piece of ripped paper had Kyler's fingers shaking. He re-read the last words of the letter over and over, something playing in his mind. Why did I reply to her? Kyler didn't know the answer. He had said call it fate, or destiny, or will, but he knew it wasn't any of those. He knew that, and Eumee knew that.

As Kyler stared at the other blank piece of paper, he reached out for a pen he decided to bring along everyday in case he finds a reply. It was one of those breezy October days that screamed "curl up with hot cocoa and sit down by the fire place" kind of times. His eyelids drooped heavily as if he hadn't gotten enough sleep.

Kyler started writing once more, his messy handwriting permanently combined with the paper.

"You're not the only one who thought you'd never have a family. You know, biologically. You have family everywhere. Your friends, the orphans you know, your schoolmates."

Kyler had never experienced living with his biological family. Maybe he had, but he may have been a newborn when that happened. He was still brainless. The kind that does nothing but sleep, eat, sleep, eat, sleep and eat. As a baby, what else can you do?

"Life isn't so bad."

Life has points. There's all of those happy moments. There's all of those high grades and pride filled times. There's the people that make you laugh and feel good about yourself. Kyler experienced those. Maybe not with his family, but there was always the friends and the nuns.

"You can solve all your problems. Remember, you're brave."

There's always a little bit of braveness in someone. And as that someone grows up, the braveness starts to uncover until it blooms. Kyler had experienced being a coward. Now he's stronger, confident and charming. What happened?

Kyler merely grew up.

The dark skies loomed over Kyler as he stared up at the once blue sea. He sighed, signed his name on the paper and addressed it once more to "Suicidal", only this time, he had changed it to "Brave".