Until I found you (Phil lester/amazingphil fan fic)

chapter 6 - I'm in pain...deep..pain....

I was then left in graphics, alone to my thoughts..

I have to stop it, it's getting out of hand, i can't like him in that way, because i know for a fact when..if we get close, he'll run for it as soon as i open up to him.

I placed my hand on my thigh, and look down at my feet. Just let me go home, i don't  want to be here, at this school. Come on Emma you've only got one more period then your home...come on.

The bell then rang for my next class. I then walked down the corridor, thinking only about one thing, and one thing only. I need to let the pain out, i need to let it leek out, I need to....cut.

I'v be doing it for awhile now, nearly a year, i started it all because , it was getting to much for me. School.Family problems. Friends. So i let the pain inside me match the outside of me....

I walked into my English class. I sat next to this guy called Christan. Me and him, didn't get along will. He was the type of guy, that would punch you if you looked at him the wrong way.

When everyone sat down and got their jotters, there was a knock at the door. "Hi, sorry i'm late, i did'nt know what i had" said.....PHIL. Oh no, not him, ever time i look at him my heart starts to race and my legs turn to jelly !. OH shit, there's an empty seat next to me..no..no. "That's ok, just take a seat next to..." NO..NO.. "Emma" she pointed to the seat next to me. SHIT!  i said screaming at myself.

He started to walk over, His eye's looking at me , not breaking eye contact, he placed his bag under the table and got out his jotter when the teacher said "Emma, can you please fill in to ...."Phil" he said in a kinda deep voice "thank you...well can you fill in to  Phil, what we've been doing for the past couple of week"  Oh shit...i'm going to acted like an idiot in front of him i know it !..

"So what have i missed then " He said looking right at me with a gorgeous  smile, that made my heart start to race. "umm...well..give me a minute" i reach for my bag under the table to get my jotter, but when i tyred to get back up and my head then  hit the table, causing me to let out a small "oww".

I sat back up with my right hand on the back of my  head ,thankfully nobody heard me." You ok" he said letting out  a small laugh. "Yeah, i'm fine". on the outside . I then flick through my jotter, to a page saying "what we are doing this year- Horror movies and the techniques used in the scene and why dose it make us scared"?  It had a bunch of information what we need to do, so i headed it to Phil and i could see at the corner of my eye he was looking at me, not the jotter.

"You have nice hand writing" he said quietly "Oh please, i think a retarded duck with no arms could do better" i said still looking at my book.

This way my heart wouldn't start to race, because when ever i like a  boy, i can't talk to him as my heart starts to race and i get butterfly's in my stomach. Also i panic, that i would say something stupid in front of him causing him not  to like me.

He let out another small laugh that melted my heart. "I think mines worse than a retarded duck" he said. i couldn't help it, i turned my face to face him and he..was looking at me, i thought he was reading my jotter ?. Oh there's that smile of his..Oh god.

I grew some confidence and decided to make a conversation with him. "So what school did you come from?" I said with a nervously laugh "well i don't think you'll know it but somewhere in England"  "so why did you come to this school then, i mean it's so far away" i stop. Oh shit, i think i'm being a bit far forward with the question, i mean i'v just met the guy "Sorry, if I'm making it feel like an interrogation" i  said looking deep in his eye, oh here come the butterfly's.. "No, it's fine" he mummer, looking up and down my face. 

Our eyes met and the energy flowing between us is..is indescribable.  He then breaks the eye contact and look's at his hands and say's "Anyway, my family and me moved here because" he paused then looked  back at me and then continue his sentience "My best friend pass away, and we...I  wanted to get far away from England". he said in a low voice. ohh.. his friend, aww what a shame, something like that must of been hard for him to deal with it. "I'm so sorry Phil" "It's fine " he said looking up at me with a small smile " No, Phil i mean it, I'm so sorry, that must of been hard for you to deal with " As soon as i said it, i regretting ever word, i sound like his therapies "Thank you, Emma, and yes it was really hard to deal with" he then looked back down at his hands.

A few minutes past before the Best friend conversation. Until the teacher went outside the classroom to go to the toilet. So as natural the entire class started to talk, and so did me and Phil.

"So how long have you know everyone" Phil said "Everyone?" "The people at the table, you know, Emma,Dan,pj and ummm Amy,tom" "you missed out, Gillan, Alex,Rhona, And new to the group"   I Think "Jack" "Well i got half of  them right " he said raising his  eyebrow and  smile along with it. "Well, Gillian,Emma,Amy and Rhona i'v known for about 2 years," "Ahh, and what about the boys" "Well,Gillian was the first in the group to have a boyfriend, And Alex seems pretty cool, I mean , we've all had our ups and downs but it's been worth it" I said with a smile. Oh good the butterfly's are going away now as were on a topic, that's less awkward. 

" Emma was the second, to have a boyfriend, and honestly i love him" i said then looking over to Phil, his eye's widen and his mouth  drops.  shit and i  just realised who i was talking to  "OH,  NO not like that,i don't like him in that way, i mean....i meant... i don't !" My words start to stumble out my mouth . "I think i know what you mean" he said, he face goes back to normal "That's just how i say it, you know, trust me, i don't love him, he's just a friend, besides i haven't had a boyfriend since primary" i said smiling then stop. WHY DID I ADD THE BOYFRIEND BIT. "Oh...ok " He then looked down at his hands. 

Thank fuck the teacher then came back into the class room. It gave me an excuse why me and Phil weren't talking now.   "OK, CLASS SETTLE DOWN" she said trying to get the class under control "Now look the bells about to go in 5 minutes so pack up". what?,that's been an hour. feels like 5 minutes.

We pack our stuff up and then the bells rings. when i get to the door, Phil is right next to me and i hear him say "so i'll see you tomorrow" "Ok..yeah see you ". I then turn to walk out the door but  i look back to see the back of Phil's head. Then he turns around and our eye's meet, After about a 2 second eye contact, i continue walking down the hall, and see Emma in tears as she leaves school.  

OK so the next chapter will be hopefully be up on Friday and i know it's been a lot of pov lately but the next chapter will be about Gillian and Alex, also Emma and Dan ^___^

So sorry guys but my Internet crashed so i won't be able to post the new chapter, as i was writing it. it didn't save so it mite take me a while again SORRY :(