Trapped With the Memories of You

Chapter 8 Kelsey's POV

It’s been a week since Henry left. He hasn’t called and I haven’t heard any news from his mother, I hoped he had done well in his audition. He was supposed to come back today but I still haven’t got any phone calls. From what happened at the airport between me and him I figured he would at least call me to tell me if he had passed the audition or not, but I didn’t get anything. I was beginning to get nervous when my mother called me from downstairs.

“Kelsey, come downstairs. Someone’s at the door for you.” I raced down the stairs and found Henry standing outside my house door. He looked tired. His golden-brown hair was lighter than the last time I saw him. His already small eyes looked tired, but brightened noticeably when he saw me. He was wearing blue jeans and a red hoodie, he seemed skinnier. His face was less round too.

I walked up to him. “Hey Kelsey.” He said smiling. His smile was still breath-taking and it reminded me that this was the same Henry I knew a week ago.

“Hey Henry. Oh my gosh, you changed so much.” He laughed.

“For better or worse?”

“Haha definitely better, but you look tired.” He nodded at me. I didn’t want to be rude and just jump into the questions of how the audition was, so I waited for him to bring it up.

“Can we go somewhere and talk? I have a lot to tell you.”

“Yeah, just give me a minute to put on my shoes.” I wore the same white vans I wore on the day I showed him around. I closed the door behind me, and we began walking. He didn’t say anything the whole way, and we remained in a comfortable silence. We walked for a while and I didn’t know exactly where he was taking me until Russo Park came into view. When we entered the park we sat on the same bench we had sat on the last time we were here.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you and tell you how the audition went, I just had a lot on my mind, and I wanted to tell you face to face what happened anyway.” I nodded as a sign for him to continue. “Well I passed through the first part of the audition and was called back for the second part. I met a boy there named Kaichi. Anyway he passed the first part with me as well. I passed the second call back, Kaichi did too, and so did one girl who was a dancer. It was just us three. I was beginning to get really nervous. I told Kaichi that he was really talented, you know just in case he was feeling the same nervousness I was.” He stopped to laugh, it was a bitter laugh though, “Instead of telling me ‘thanks’ or ‘You are too,’ he told me to shut up and stay out of his way. When we went back into the room to face the judges, the head judge gave us a little speech where he commended us on our talents and said that we should all continue with our music careers whether we make it or not.” I was starting to get worried that he didn’t make it. “He then said, ‘So the person that passed this audition and will be the new member of Super Junior M is,’. He gave a really dramatic pause and then he looked at me and said, “Mr. Henry Lau, Congratulations.” He stopped talking and looked at me for my reaction. It came immediately. I screamed, I was too excited to hold it in. This was amazing! Henry got into Super Junior M. He made his dream come true.

“Henry that’s so great! That’s so amazing! I never doubted you could to it but to hear that you actually accomplished what you wanted to do is so amazing!” I looked back at him smiling wide. He grinned back at me.

“Kelsey, I really couldn’t have done it without you.” He took my hands in his. “You were one of the main reasons I wanted it so badly. You encouraged me and I didn’t want to let you down.” I heard what he was saying but my eyes remained glued on our hands, and then he said it. “Kelsey, I think it’s about time I tell you something.”

I looked up at him, suddenly extremely nervous. “What is it you want to tell me Henry?”

“I have to leave for China in a couple of weeks. The company I signed a contract with wants me to start training right away since they want me to be able to debut during Super Junior M’s next comeback. So,” he began, “I want you to know that I like you Kelsey, and I don’t mean in the ‘Oh, you’re a really great friend way,’ I mean in the way where I want you to be my girlfriend. Before you say anything you should know exactly how I feel. Kelsy, you’re different. Of course I’ve had crushes before, but I have never cared about them in half the way I care about you. You’re absolutely one of the most important people to me and I just want to be able to call you mine. I want people to see how lucky I am to have someone like you, and I know this might be going too fast, but if anything Kelsey I just have to tell you one thing. I love you.” My breath caught in my throat when he said that. Complete happiness flowed through me and I wanted more than anything to tell him that I felt exactly the same way. That I loved him, that he was the most important person to me. That since he’s been around I have never been so happy… but something was holding me back. The thoughts I thought so long ago that nagged me in the back of my mind came forward. “Kelsey,” He interrupted my thoughts. I looked up at him, “If you won’t accept my confession because of the long distance, I’ll give it up. I’ll quit the group. Yes, it’s my dream but none of that matters if I don’t have you with me. Don’t worry about me, just be honest with me and tell me if you feel the same way.” The thoughts continued. He would give up his dream for me? The thing he always wanted to do? I couldn’t let him do that. I couldn’t be that selfish. I loved Henry, but I knew how much he wanted this. My feelings for him would go on forever, but he would eventually get over me.

My heart shattered when I realized what I had to do then. If I wanted him to move on and be happy I would have to reject him. I would have to hurt him so that he would realize that he deserves someone better than me. I let out a sigh and prepared myself for what I was about to do.

“Henry,” I finally said, “I think it’s really amazing that you would do that for me. That you would give up your dream for me, but I want you to know that you don’t even have to consider that.” I put up the emotionless face that I put on every day before I met Henry. “I don’t feel the same way about you so just go to China and do what you want to do. Don’t think about me, don’t call me asking how I am,” I removed my hands from his, “Don’t continue to have these feelings for me. Get over me. It’s truly a burden more than anything to have you feel this way about me, so let’s just stop here. Let’s just stop being friends and pretend that none of the things that happened ever happened. Let’s say goodbye now and go back to the way things were before we even met each other.” I got up off the park bench and tried to walk away when I felt Henry pull me back. I had to get out of this situation quick. I knew the tears were coming and I needed to get out of here now. “Kelsey…” He stood in front of me, “How can you even ask me to forget about you when I just confessed everything to you. Kelsey, you can’t do this to me please! I love you.” The tears were coming and I felt them sting my eyes, I pulled my hand away from his and turned around so my back faced him.

“Well I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same way. Not even close.” I walked away after that. I heard him screaming my name behind me.

“Kelsey! Don’t go! Please! Kelsey, come back, please don’t leave me!” I walked faster as the tears were now fully and heavily making their way down my face. I refused to wipe my eyes until I was sure Henry couldn’t see me anymore. The tears kept flowing and flowing. They showed no signs of stopping. I rounded the corner to where a mini field with big trees was. I sat under the largest tree, hidden in the shade, and I just cried.