Trapped With the Memories of You

Chapter 13 Kelsey's POV

Kelsey’s POV

Sitting across from Jake at the café, I debated how to tell him. Henry’s album came out to day and Janice had rushed home to order it online. Now Jake was staring at me. He knew that there was something on my mind, but he didn’t question me.

“Jake. I think we should breakup.”

“What? Why?” He asked shocked. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, increasing the guilt I already felt.

“This really isn’t working out.”

“I think its going fine.”

“Jake, I told you when you asked me out that I already loved someone else.”

“If you really loved him then you wouldn’t have agreed to date me.”

“I needed to forget him!”

“So what? You couldn’t forget him?”

“I tried?”

“Why am I not good enough?” His tone was sad, yet serious.

“It’s not that you’re not good enough, Jake. It’s just Henry… he’s someone I can’t forget about. No matter how hard I try I will never be able to forget.”

“So what about me?”

“I’m sorry.” Was all I could say. I looked down at my lap waiting for him to yell at me, but nothing ever came. I looked up at him slowly waiting for him to say something. He just looked back at me sadness filling his eyes.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough for you Kelsey.” He pushed his chair back and grabbed his jacket. I followed his figure as he walked out of the door and when he was finally out of sight I looked away.

“Henry, why are you doing this to me?” I asked to nobody in particular. My phone rang filling the café with its sound. I quickly answered without checking the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“KELSEY! KELSEY! KELSEY! KELSEY! KELSEY!!!!! GET YOUR BUTT OVER TO MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? RIGHT NOW!”

“Janice what’s wrong?”

“Just get here as fast as you can!” The phone call cut off and I looked at the black screen confused? I got up quickly out of my seat and rushed out of the door. I turned down the street and made a left walking straight for about five blocks, before taking a right. A few more minutes of walking later and I arrived at Janice’s house. I knocked on the door and could hear her quick footsteps coming down the stairs.

The door flew open, “What took you so long???” she asked. She didn’t wait for my answer as she grabbed my hand and rushed me up to her room. She dragged me to her computer and sat me in front of the screen. The computer window was opened to a channel that said. ‘Henry- Trap. Eng Sub, Romanization, Hangeul.’

“What is this?” I asked. She looked at me with wide-excited eyes.

“This my dear friend Kelsey is just one of the two songs from Henry’s new album that I want you to see.”

“Janice I can’t watch this! Don’t you remember what happened last time?”

“Yes, I do. But you have to watch this Kelsey.”

“I can’t jus-”

“KELSEY JUST SHUT UP AND WATCH THE DAMN VIDEO!!” I closed my mouth quickly and did what she asked. She pressed play and the video started…

Henry sat at a piano, his hair now a lighter brown. He started playing the keys and a beautiful sound escaped his lips. It was like falling in love all over again. The lyrics flashed on the screen along with the music video and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.

I’m getting more and more forgotten inside of you, inside this love that always lingers. I’m trapped. I’m trapped.

“By the way before you ask me,” Janice said, pausing the video. “Henry did write this song.” She pressed the play button and the song continued.

I’m losing myself, I can’t even remember my name without you. Now will you let go of me from inside of you, let go of me?

I’m an abandoned bird in a small birdcage called you, I can’t even fly away.

I’m getting more and more weak inside of you, inside this love that always lingers, I’m trapped, I’m trapped.

I want to forget you, (I want to forget you), I want to forget you, (I want to forget you.)

Lyrics repeated and the song ended. The melody of his voice and the sound of the music melded together beautifully. He looked so much better now. He looked so different.

“Do you know the concept of this song?” Janice asked after I stayed silent. I just shook my head. “It’s about Henry not being able to escape a past love. A love that he holds onto because that love had him feeling complete. The part that says, ‘I can’t even remember my name without you…’ means that he needs that love to continue to fully be himself. He wants to forget because it hurts to remember the love, but he’s trapped with the memories of her. Kelsey, it means he’s trapped with the memories of you. It means that he still loves you!” I just looked at her, my eyes wide. I couldn’t bring myself to believe it. I couldn’t let myself get my hopes up and then have them crushed.

“I… I don’t believe that.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think you would. Which is why you need to listen to this song. It’s called ‘I Would.’ And lucky for us. It’s in English.” She typed something into the search bar and then clicked on one of the links. A video loaded and the song began playing.

Nothing has ever broken me like you did. No one I ever wanted more than you. Nobody else can make a man so weak, make him fall in love so deep, baby.

No one has ever known me like you did, there’s just no other girl to see me through, and every single memory I know reminds me that I’m all alone. All alone.

If I could just get over you, I would. Don’t wanna love you anymore and missing you is like fighting a war. It’s a battle I’m losing and I’d give up girl if I could. If I could walk away as easily as you, I would.

I was speechless as the mesmerizing lyrics held so much emotion. Could this really possibly mean that he still loved me? The same way he felt before he left?

But the kind of pain you left me with, it never seems to heal, and it never lets me go.

If I just get over you I would, don’t wanna love you anymore and missing you is like fighting a war. It’s a battle I’m losing, and I’d give up girl if I could. If I could walk away as easily as you, I would.

Tell me how do I live with tainted love, tell me how can I can feel no feelings. Is there a way to leave it all behind?

An overwhelming sense of urgency filled me just then. He still loved me? A calming and happy sensation that I never felt before washed over me and I was so perfectly at peace in that moment. I let a smile come to my face as I listened to his beautiful voice fill my ears.

Just tell me how to walk away, away from loving you, and I would.

The song ended on a beautiful note and the room was filled with a complete silence. I got off the chair and turned to Janice. I gave her what would possibly be the biggest hug I had ever given anyone. “Thank you so much for that.”

“See he still loves you!” She replied, hugging me back. I pulled away and just nodded. I made my way around her walking out of her room. “Wait! Where I you going?” She asked, running out after me.

“I’m going to go get Henry back.”