Dinner was the same that night as it's been every other night since dad died a year ago, quite. The once lively atmosphere filled with laughter dulled to only the sound of utensils brushing past plates. For a whole 3 weeks i ate in my room, right when mom booked me a therapy session and unexpecdedly took me out of P.E one day for my first session. I resented her at first but eventually realized that it came from a good place.
" Marisa, would you like to say grace "
Says mom looking at me with her I am trying smile.
" Geez mom she's an atheist! " cries Charity from the other end of the table, this was the first time since dad died that she did or said anything remotely nice to me or about me, whether it be as small as this it still counted, somehow.
I looked up from my plate of store bought lasagna and corn and at moms speechless face, I was about to interject when,
" For flying sake Charity, just because I said no to you going to that party this weekend you are not going to try and team up against me now and pretend to give a damn about your sister "
Realizing what has just said she turned to me with sympathetic look,
So much for charity's selfless act.
" I didn't mean that, you know your sister loves you. "
" It's for christ sake mom, Christ sakes!, and don't lie to her it's not helping with her issues. "
As she said that she got up and walked off down the hall without turning back,
" It's fine mom " I let out, for her sake. It looked as if she was about to cry, if it wasn't awkward enough to see your mom cry, she began to pout.
And I was the one in need of therapy.
After putting her fork down, she put aside her plate and reached over to me, holding my hand in hers,
" Marisa, for flying sakes, I am going to lay it out, I've know how hard your fathers death was on you- She paused and I recognized the quiver of her lips at the metion of father. It was the same as the burning my eyes got when i thought of him.
"he was an incredible person and I dont know where id be if i hadnt had him by my side after Oliver left. I see alot of you in him and i dont say this enough but i love you so much. "
" I love you too " I said,
I reached over to hug here, and this seemed to make her cry even harder.
On my way to my room I blinked back the tears, I wasn't going to cry, not tonight, but the mere fact mom will, kept me awake that night.
