My Favorites Songs And Pictures

chapter 6

I walked home slowly. I didn't have to pick the kids up till 4. I hadn't seen Lizzy in school, but that wasn't all that uncommon. She quite often didn't come into school. I wasn't really sure what she planned to do with her life.

I wasn't sure if going to see Welly was a good idea. I knew she could be hot headed at times, and when she was like she just needed space, but the weight that was weighing on my chest was making it hard to breathe and I knew the only way that was going to go away was to try and fix things with her. Everything in my life was going to hell and if there was one thing I had to fix it was this.

I found myself knocking on her door timidly. I think I was almost hoping she wouldn't hear it so that I could avoid the undoubted argument.

"Sorry, is Michael not home?" Welly snapped as she yanked open the door. I cringed at her abrasive tone. I knew she had every right to be angry, but that didn't stop it from hurting.

"Welly, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to lie to you, but I just...I didn't sleep with him. I just fell asleep on his bed. I didn't sleep with him." I rambled, tripping over my words. I could see her rolling her eyes in disbelief. I loved Welly, but sometimes she was a drama queen. She liked to make things out of things that weren't really things at all. This being one of them.

"Why should I believe you? You went to him over me? You went to him over your best friend, and you think I'd be okay with that?" Either she'd heard what I said to Michael or someone had told her what happened after she left.

"I knew what you'd say! I know what you think about my mum, and that's okay. I understand. I just needed someone who didn't know every gory detail of my life. Someone who wasn't going to ask questions and demand answers, and Michael was that. He doesn't care enough to make a deal out of it. I just needed someone who was going to let me pretend I was normal for a few fucking hours." I barked, biting back tears as my throat began to close up. I hated swearing, it was just one of those things I hated. I lived with small children and it wasn't a habit I could really afford to pick up. They heard enough of it from the other adults in their lives.

"You chose to go to a boy who hates you instead of your best friend. You didn't even have the decency to tell me where you were, and I was worried sick by the way, and now I find out it was because you were too busy snuggled up with the boy who treats you like dirt and then you had the audacity to lie to me about it, to my face the next day. Why on earth would I be okay with that? If you didn't want to talk about it then that was fine, I wouldn't have made you, but did you really have to go to him over me?"

"Is what actually what you think this is about? Me choosing him over you? I didn't choose him. I don't even know how I ended up at his house. I just wanted to get the project done to distract me and then he offered to let me stay. I didn't want to face you and tell you what happened and I couldn't go home. It just seemed like the best option." I wanted her to understand that this wasn't to do with her, and it wasn't even to do with Michael. It was to do with me.

"Annabelle, I really do not want to talk about this right now. You hurt me okay, and you need to understand that. Please, just come back later. I can't do this right now." She sighed, clearly close to tears too. She didn't wait for me to reply before slamming the door shut.

I didn't even think about what to do next. It just came to me instinctively. I found myself picking up my pace. It wasn't far, but I needed to get there quickly before I changed my mind. It was the walk I'd began to make a hundred time over the past few months but had never had the guts to follow through. Today was the day though. I could feel it.

Ten minutes later and it was in sight, my pace dropped and I was sure I could be passed by a snail at this point. Was this really necessary? I thought to myself. I used to come here every day, it was supposed to get easier not harder.