Our Story (boyxboy)

7. Thinking

Josh's POV

I hang up the phone after Gavin calls sounding like he's gonna cry. I called him a while ago around 4:00 a.m. and again around 5:00. I made up the excuse that I needed help for the research paper when in reality, I just wanted to  hear his voice. I just wanted to listen to him talk. His voice was my heaven. I've never experienced this kind of pull towards another human being in my life. With McHale I always feel the need to protect her, to comfort her, to love her. With Gavin, I feel safe, I feel like he's protecting me, I feel loved. These are in my dreams anyways. I've never actually experienced these outside of my subconscious but boy would I like to.

It's Saturday and I have absolutely nothing to do. I wanna just chill at home but I also wanna hang out with some friends. Deciding on the more social plan of action, I call up some close friends. I start a group call with McHale, Jaclyn, and Gavin.

Me: hey guys, wanna chill at the mall today?

McHale: I can try but idk what my dad has planned for today so I may not have a ride.

Jaclyn: Imma try and be there.

Gavin: Yea, is it cool if Jon comes along?

I cringed at his name. I wanted to hang out with my friends, not my friends and their boyfriends. I went along with it anyways because I really just wanted to see him.

Me: yeah that's chill. What time?

McHale: does 2:00 sound good?

Everyone agrees on 2:00 and hangs up. I really don't want Jon there. I want to just hang out with some close friends, but that's obviously too much to ask for. I check my phone and it's already Noon so I should probably start getting ready. I take a long-ish shower and try to find something decent to wear. I want to look good for Gavin, even though there's nothing between us.

It's 1:30 and I'm on my way to the mall. We live in a small town with a military base so our mall is kinda pathetic. It's pretty big though. While sitting in the car waiting to arrive I think through all the dreams so far, since they're permanently etched into my brain. I've noticed in all of them we both have that look. The look of love. We both see each other in our truest form. Nothing to hide, just us.

Arriving at the mall I quickly shake the images out of my head and get out of my moms car.

Mom: I'll be back at 5:00 to pick you up. Here's $30 for you to chill with your friends.

Me: Thanks mom, I love you.

Mom: I love you too sweetheart. Have fun!

I walk into the mall and stop dead in my tracks. I see Gavin and Jon standing together with their fingers intertwined. My heart almost stops at the sight. I can't move my body, let alone look somewhere else. My feet stuck in place and my eyes glued to their hands. They seem like one person. I don't understand why I'm making such a big deal of this but it just hurts. It hurts to see them together like this. I finally compose myself enough to walk over to them and actually start talking.

Me: Hey guys.

Gavin: Hey, how's it going.

Jon: Hey Josh. Nice to finally meet you.

I force a smile and give him an ecstatic greeting.

Me: Hey Jon! Nice to finally meet you too! I've heard lots about you.

Jon: Oh really?

He raises and eyebrow and smiles as he turn to Gavin and puts his arm around him.

Jon: So you tell your friends about me huh?

Gavin: You sometimes come up in our conversations.

He blushes and I smile. He looks so cute when he blushes.

Me: Has anyone else showed up?

Gavin: Yeah I think Kale is coming in through the West entrance.

Me: Let's walk that way then.

We begin to walk towards JC Penny and apparently that's where Jon works but he's off today. I walk beside and kinda behind them since their hand are together. I try to calm myself down but I just feel my jealousy rising. I start to walk faster than them and they don't seem to notice so I just keep going. I meet Kale in JC Penny and we start walking back.

Me: Hey babe

Kale: Hey babe, what're we doing today?

Me: I don't know, just whatever.

We start to walk back and I see Gavin and Jon sitting down at a bench with Jon's arm around Gavin. Gavin's laughing about whatever Jon just said and I start to walk over to them.

Me: Hey you guys up for some lunch?

Gavin: Yeah I'm starved.

Jon: What do you want?

Gavin: Idk, noodles?

They start walking to some noodle place and Kale and I start walking to Chick-Fil-A. I take a look back at Jon and Gavin. Jon's arm is now around Gavin's waist and I feel a little piece of my heart break. I need to get ahold of myself. I need to block out these feelings I have. I need to stop thinking about Gavin in that way. I have McHale. And I love every second with her.

We meet up with Jaclyn while eating. She found us as soon as walked in and Kale and I started talking about the research paper. We all start talking about everything we did wrong or everything we forgot to do. Jaclyn didn't even turn in her actual paper so she had to email it to Keller. We all laughed and finished our food. The sad part is, I was thinking about Gavin the whole time.

We started to walk around and we couldn't find Jon or Gavin so I shot Gavin a quick text.

Me: hey did you leave?

Gavin: yeah sorry, Jon had some family issues to deal with.

Me: oh ok well it was a fun time I guess ):

Gavin: I'm sorry, we'll have a day to chill. Just us. K?

Me: Okay. Sounds good.

I start walking with Jaclyn and Kale again. Smiling and waiting for the day when Gavin and I will have our day together. Just the two of us.