The Period Horror Stories

The Wedding

OK so I am best friends with the bride of this wedding. Of course, I believe I was PMSing because my period shouldn't be a day early.... right? So I was being the bridesmaid of honour and we were all given gorgeous white dresses to wear. The bride looked lovely as I was fixing her blond, silky hair into an elaborate up do. 

"I want EVERYTHING to be PERFECT! Not a single thing out of place, not one mistake, this is MY night!" She squealed as I started pinning up her hair. I rolled my eyes and snickered, "Shouldn't it be your future husband's night as well?" I asked her. She rolled her eyes back. "Please, if anyone does ANYTHING to steal the attention from MOI, I will personally shove this 6 inch stiletto up their ass!" She said. Yikes, those heels were weapons! Speaking of asses, mine was seriously causing cramps. "You got any Advil?" I asked her. "Yeah, it's in my suitcase for the honeymoon," She gestured towards the back of the room as I finished the hair spray. I reached towards the bag and opened it, the advil right next to the lingerie, condoms, and pills. I sighed, way to be prepared. The dress I was in was plain white and hugged my butt so much I could barely walk. Jeez aren't we supposed to push our asses OUT nowadays? This is tucking it IN!

Finally, it was time for the wedding. I was first, as the maid of honour, and since my friend is VERY popular, there were literally over a THOUSAND people at this church. I struggled not to limp my way to the aisle. Can I get a walking cane over here? I finally reached it and got up the last step and I was about to be at my place when I heard a lot of gasps and murmers. Did something go wrong? Did the bride arrive early? I turned around, when the groom fainted as I turned my backside to him. What? Is he OK? What happened? I rushed to him, or hobbled, and bent all the way over, pratically touching my toes to inspect him. I forgot my ass was facing the audience until I heard a scream.

"WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR ASS RED?!" The bride screamed as I saw her across the aisle. What? I looked down to see my entire ASS on the back of my WHITE dress blood red! I must've started early! Damn! I looked at the bride and she was running here, she picked up her dress and stormed over here, faster than SANIC. Her face was as red as my ass as she stormed over here, the band playing 'Here Comes The Bride' About 5 times faster. She let out a battle cry as I got a peek at her shoes. Damn, I guess I'm having sex with a 6 inch stiletto tonight, cause THAT is going to be RAMMED up my ass! Terrified, of the bride running towards me, I stumbled backwards and fell butt first, onto the passed out groom's face. Instantly he woke up, and I fell off him and lied sprawled out on the alter, my... redness in front of the priest. You get demons away from possessing people right? Get this one in my vagina out! The groom stood up, and had..... red on his face. He wiped his face and saw some of the blood.

"What...... is this?" He asked. The bride stopped, looking mortified. He turned towards me as II avoided flashing the priest with my bleeding unholiness. "Hehe, well I guess you ate more pussy than you thought you would tonight..." I nervously said. He stared at me wide eyed before running to the nearest person, the bride's grandmother, and smearing the blood off his face and hands onto her nice clothing and hat, screaming "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!". Wow, for a guy with a dick, he doesn't take pussy very well. Probably because he is one. I rolled my eyes before noticing the bride was charging towards me again. I was about to bolt before her shoe made her stumble, slip, and flip onto her back, her skirt sprawled around her, covering and ruining her makeup and hair. It covered all of her exept her legs and her white panties...... now dosed in red. Gasping I accidentally yelled, "Our periods finally sacronized!!!" Before covering my mouth, after I blurted that out.  She stormed up and lunged at me, as i desperately ran away.

She brought up her shoes and began throwing them at me before I leaped for cover under the table. I peeked and saw the audience filming with their cameras and screaming in the chaos. I didn't see the bride anywhere, but I was SO god damn hungry! Quietly I reached a hand up the table and got myself a fistful of cake and proceeded to shove it into my eating hole. Mmmmm. Should've been chocolate though. The table flipped as I saw the bride looming over me, the food leaving it's contents scattered across the floor. NO! THAT PERFECTLY GOOD CAKE! Everyone was staring at me, crouched down with cake covering my face and hands. I began crying as the bride snarled at me. I crawled over to the crushed cake and began holding the crumbling pieces. Why?! WHY?! IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO DIE LIKE THIS!   I cradled it in my arms, being CAKED ( LOL PUNS ) In the vanilla frosting and rose designs. I began singing the song Katniss sang for Rue when she dies, unaware of the thousands or pairs of eyes watching me until I heard a shreek. "YOU! RUINED! EVERYTHING!" I turned to see the bride throw another shoe, which she got from, is that her younger brother? and throw it at me. It hit me in the face as my legs flew up in the air as I landed on my back from the impack. Once again audience, let me show you the blood pouring out of me this very minute.

I threw the shoe onto the ground before muttering "Well SOME ONE is on their period," Before once again being chased out of the church. And that's how I went to jail, no longer was a bestfriend with that bride, ruined her wedding and relationship, and caused her groom to become gay. His exact words I last heard him say were "That's it, no more bleeding vaginas for me." He came out literally the next day. Little did he know he would never escape PMSing women. Sorry bud.