The Nerd And Her Bad Boy

Chapter 10: Revealing Secrets

Chapter 10: Remembering The Past

"Ok, would you rather, have a dragon or be a dragon?"

"Be a dragon, duh."

"Interesting."

"Stop smirking and hand me my ice cream!"

Yup, it's Christmas eve and what am I doing? Nothing special, just eating ice cream with my true cause of pain.

"Would you rather never be able to speak or always say what's on your mind." I asked as I took a scoop of Ben & Jerry's Rocky road-ish.

"Never be able to speak, because I can say some dumb shit once in a while."

"You can say that again."

He pouts and we laughed together at the most dumbest things we can think of.

Yesterday was the day I found him on my steps, I could've sworn he was up to something but turns out he just wanted to catch up with me over some ice cream.

Of course I agreed, it's ice cream!

"So Lauren, are you coming to the Christmas eve party?"

Oh right, that.

Now I remember why I'm not excited for Christmas, family gatherings -ew-

Every year Andrea, Amy, Jenny and April's parents (along with mines) organize this huge Christmas eve party. This year they've invite the Price family, which is going to add drama considering Mrs.Price doesn't get along with Mrs.Lockworth.

"How can I miss it."

He chuckles but it seems forced, in fact, 50% of what he's been doing so far seemed forced. I didn't bother asking him because then it would seem like I care...which I don't.

But then again I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I didn't fix something, it's just something I'm use to; helping people.

I sigh in defeated and noticed that he was deep in his thoughts,"What's wrong?"

"Just thinking.."

I knew he wanted me to ask 'about what?' But I'm scared, I know whatever he's thinking about includes me and that's a terrifying thing. For all I know he can be planning on ways to hack my phone and send text messages like never before. Or even how he's going to sneak in my house to shave all my hair off.

"About..?" I trailed off.

Stupid, stupid Lauren.

And there it was the question that I wasn't expecting.

"Do- do you still have an eating disorder?" He's now looking straight at me, more at my soul if you really want details.

I'm gulping hard, I'm sweating like crazy and my brain is in overload. I don't show how the question just effected me, or at least I think I don't show it. I'm looking all over the ice cream parlor as if one of the ice cream containers would have a proper response.

I have an urge to get up from our window seat and run, run all the way to Saudi Arabia and crawl in a hole and hide.

"W-w-what are you talking...h-how...What?"

I'm desperately trying to make eye contact but this fear is overwhelming.

I never thought someone would realize it, especially not now since I've gotten it under control, I think.

"Lauren, I'm sorry, please don't cry." He's holding my hands from across the table.

That's when I really start to loose it. Not only was Alex holding my hand and he just told me sorry but the strange thing about it is that I didn't have this disgusted feeling about it, I felt my stomach twisting and turning I even felt my heartbeat accelerated.

I won't let these tears fall down, I won't cry in front of Alex in this empty parlor.

Mission failed.

I'm crying a fountain here and I'm so close to running to Australia. Alex is looking at me sympathetically, almost the same way my dad would look at my mom when she was sick, like he was breaking down with her.

Soon enough Alex is by my side, still holding my hand but in a tighter version.

I'm extremely happy that the employees were slacking off in the back otherwise I would face some major humiliation later on.

"Hey, don't cry. It's okay." He kept whispering reassurance in my ears. It worked, I stopped for a while,but tears still fell down my cheeks. Not exactly how I wanted to spend my Christmas eve.

"H-how did you know?" I asked with a raspy throat. He leans on the table and throws his hands in his hair.

"I saw you that afternoon when..." He stops there and I know exactly what he's talking about.

I feel nostalgia kicking in and I forever want to hide in a ball pit, I'm scared.

"Go ahead, say it." I wanted to hear it from him, how he saw it.

"I-I was coming over to tell you something, a-and then I saw you running...out of your house, you were angry at something. I wanted to kill whoever made you mad."
He laughed at the end to lighten the mood.
"So I followed you, you ran to a clearing and just...broke down. You might think I'm lying but it hurt me seeing you so vulnerable."

My heart is racing as I remember the day as if it was yesterday. It was Friday six years ago, I'd just went through a day of bullying which was the usual back then, when I reached home to face text messages from Andrea and her committee telling me to loose weight and die.

I thought I would be used to it by then but I let it got to me, so I went to take a look in the mirror then I saw what everyone was seeing.

I thought it was normal, but it wasn't, at least not in my world. Weighing at 241 pounds I was comfortable with myself until that day. My mom called me down for dinner but I couldn't even think about food I was too disgusted in myself.

I told myself this would be the last meal I have, that I would go on a diet. After dinner I couldn't bear to look at myself, I felt as if I gained 10 pounds each spoonful. Mad at myself, I ran, I ran away from my problems like all Divine women do.

Obviously I didn't know someone was watching. I ran to the nearest clearing and I....I made myself vomi....You get the gist.

After that day I ate less and no one noticed. I started to buy clothes couple sizes smaller so that I could have some confidence in myself. No one knew what I was going through, at least that's what I thought.

We sat in silence for a couple minutes until he got up and stretched out his arms to me.

"C'mon" he says and I took his hands. I'm probably pale and look dumbfounded but I put my hand in his anyway.

He pulls me out of my seat and embraces me, I feel like I can melt at any given moment. Somehow my arms slither around him and we're now in this dramatic pose.

"No..." I answered.

He looks me in the eyes and manages to give me a reassuring smile,
"Hey, it doesn't matter anyway, you're you and that's all that matters..."

"...to me" He later adds.

***
Merry Christmas guys, this actually was suppose to go out tomorrow but oh well life goes on. So yh the next chapter will take a while since my internet is having a baby but yh be safe even though the day is almost over : D love ya