Be yourself

3 months(:

A/N: By the wayy peoplezz. A good idea is to listen to kelly clarkson-Because of you and Gone forever-Three Days Grace and Ally and Aj-I'm Here(at the end of the story). While reading this whole chapter. Js. Its a good Idea. It fits perfectly and its sad. Just to let you know(:

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I am currently 3 months pregnant. I think I want to surprise max at his house! I'm getting big and I want him to see really bad! We could get pictures of it together!!!!! I can't even wait. I'll bring Liberty with me! 

"Hey, Liberty want to come over real quick?" I asked.

"Sure, why not?" She replied.

Then when she arrived at my house, I told her we were going to go to Max's to suprise him. She agreed and thought that would be fun. So we got in her car and was heading over and we saw Brandon and picked him up on the side of the street and he decided to come with us. I think its gonna be so much fun! Well, here we are. Liberty walks up to the door and I'm still in the car trying to get out because my shoe got stuck. I'm used to it. Anyways, Liberty looks through his front window to his house and gasps. I see tears in her eyes. I am scared now. Terrified of what I'm going to see. I get out finally and Liberty is standing there just watching with tears. She turns around and see me coming close. She grads my shoulders and says, " No, Jessica. Please just turn around and lets head home." 

"No, I want to see him." I said.

"No, Jessica! Please don't." She said. I removed her hands from my shoulders and walked past her to the window. I glance back and see her with her hands on her head. I look through the window and see something horrifying. Something I wish I hadn't. Max was sitting right there. But he was sitting on his couch making out with some other girl. She looked gorgeous. Way better than me. She was like a model. I felt my eyes start tearing up. I was bawling my eyes out now. I tried to stop buti couldn't. Then, I saw Liberty go into the car crying. Brandon came over to me and tried to get me to leave but I told him I wanted to stay. I WANT him and Liberty to go home and relax together with the baby. He begged me to come and finally he and Liberty did and they left. I started walking home alone crying. It was impossible to stop.

Once I got home, I was in my room with my door locked and I was laying on my bed looking up at the ceiling crying. I knew I wasn't good enough. I wasn't pretty enough or fun enough. Maybe he hates me because I am pregnant and it's not his baby. I don't know. I'm sitting here thinking of all the things I had done wrong. I feel not needed or wanted. Maybe I'm not useful. I am not needed here. I found my knife and started cutting. I hope he gets hurt. I hope I get hurt. Very bad. Maybe we can die together. Maybe.  Before I fell asleep I just remember cutting very deep. Then I passed out. I woke up and I fixed up my arm so it was okay to use. I went down stairs to eat my breakfast. Waffles and hashbrowns with orange juice. Then I went outside to go for a walk to keep whatever happened yesterday off my mind. I went walking and I was right by Libertys house. I thought maybe stop by, but then I decided to keep walking so I did. Then, I saw Max's house. It was right in front of me. Then, I looked over and saw flashing lights in his driveway. It was cops and the fire dept. with an ambulance. I ran up to one of the cops.

" What the hell is going on!?" I asked yelling

"Listen, you need to go home. This is none of your buisness." One cop said.

"No, I think it is! He's or was my boyfriend!" I said starting to cry.

"Go home,honey." He said.

I saw him being pulled onto the stretcher into the ambulance. I was bawling my eyes out at that point. I ran to Libertys house and was banging on the door. Finally she answered and saw me crying. I just ran straight past her up to her room knowing she would follow me. 

"Whats going on, Jessica!?" Liberty asked panicking. She also asked," Was it Max? I'm gonna talk to him about that." 

"No. He was at his house and there were cops and the fire dept.......and he was being carried on the ambulance on a streatcher..." I said. I was starting to just be crying not majorly though. 

"Were going to the hospital." Liberty said. 

"We can't." I said.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because, its not right. I saw him cheating." I said.

"I don't fucking care right now. He is my friend too so we are visiting him to see what happened. Maybe he will come clean." She said.

We headed over to the hospital after like 3 hours and when we got there we had to beg the doctors to let us see him.

"Doctor, what happened?" I asked before we went into the room.

"I'm so sorry." Doctor said.

"What? Why!?" I asked panicked.

"Just go talk to him." The doctor said.

Me and Liberty went to say hi. In the room, Max was all beat up. He told us he tried to commit suicide. He has cuts up and down his arms both. Also, the cuts were very deep. It looked all serious. I was scared. What if I went crazy like this? 

"Max, why did you do this?" I asked with tears in my eyes.

"I'm very sorry. I cheated on you. And I think that going into details will hurt you more than I already have." Max said. Liberty was just standing there watching. She looked sad. I had tears.

"Details please." I said, knowing I would get hurt.

"Going into details wont undo what I did." He said.

"With who..." I asked.

"It was a mistake." He said.

"Why did you have to tell me?" I asked, crying.

"It was the only way that we could move forward. I know moving forward doesn't mean we are staying together-" He said.

"Your right. Were over and I'm out of here." I said. "Liberty, come on." I said again.

"You did the right thing, Max." Liberty said as she walked out the door.

After that, I never looked back.

Thats the end of Be yourself.