Be yourself

The big news.

I took a test and it came positive. I am. I screamed really loud, so Max must have heard, because he came rushing to my bathroom door and banging on it yelling " Jessica, Jessica! Are you alright!? Whats wrong!? Open up, my love!" I finally opened the door. I walked over to my bed ignoring everything Max said. I fainted just when I sat on my bed. 

I woke up.

"Jessica are you alright? I brought you some tea. I hope you like it. I made it especially for you. Its not black tea. Heavens, I know how much you hate that. My love, please let me know your okay. If  you are not then I might faint. I have lost you once when I moved away....I love you Jessica. Please be oka-" He stopped in the middle of his words as I sat up. We were just staring at each other. He looked at my lips and bit his own lips. I leaned in and kissed him. 

" I love you, Boo." I said.

"Your alright." He said.

"Listen, Max, I have to tell you something..." I said, quietly.

"What is it, Jessica? You can tell me anything, Right?" He asked.

"Right. Um, I'm pregnant." I said.

"Were having a baby!?" He yelled.

"Well, um, see....Max, we never have done it before. We can't have a baby..." I said. Max just stared at me blankly.

"So, It must be Scotts baby..." I said. After I said that, I couldn't even realize how much trouble I just got myself into. I am having my ex boyfriends, Scott, baby. How will I tell him? Wouldn't he freak out on me? What if he insists we get back together? All of these thoughts just kept rushing in my head. 

"Jessi, -" He said. I inturupted him.

I stood up off my bed and looked at him as he raised to stand up.

"Don't you dare call me that! I can't believe I even told you! This never should have happened! Only Scott calls me Jessi! And....I hate it when he even calls me that..." I said trying to settle myself down.

"I....I'm sorry, Jessica." He said. He started walking out of my bedroom door and rushed down the stairs as I heard the front door handle jiggle, I ran down stairs.

"No. Listen...Max...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you-" He cut me off. He actually cut me off.

" No, Jessica. I'm leaving. Your right, you shouldn't have dragged me into this $h!t!" He yelled.

He left. Just like that. He was gone. I ran upstairs into my bedroom slamming my door shut and locking it plopping myself onto my bed. I saw my little table next to my bed with 2 drawers. I opened the first drawer and there was a knife in there with dried up blood on it. I took it and rolled up my sleves on my long black sweater. I took the knife and I cut myself. I did it. I always did it. Nobody knew. Not even liberty because I knew she would kill me.

Nobody even knew.....