Saturday 10th October 2014
I am right by his side. Literally. Watching him every move he makes like an eagle ready to grab their claws on its prey, and surprise them at the same time. Scott doesn't show me love anymore. Well hasn't for the past 7 months. It took me a month to get over him. It wasn't easy. Watching movies starring Sarah Jessica Parker isn't fun after 4 on her romance life, and severe stomach pains after tubs of Ben and Jerry ice cream isn't appetising anymore. At all! It was in February when it all started. I wanted to negotiate buying a new house, I could sense the tension every day getting tighter and darker. I wanted to do something to help our relationship, to get it out of the deep end. I thought buying a new house would have to come with a happy relationship but, no. I thought wrong. And I'm never wrong. He got out of control when we were upstairs in the hallway. He disagreed, he said we needed to save. For WHAT! We don't have any pleasantries at all never mind luxuries, I'm sick to my teeth on all his excuses, I'm always tired after work because all the patients I see just nag nag nag for they're medication and be so rude and I don't do anything, and then all I get back from Scott is to get cheated on and pushed down the stairs. That's what he did when I asked about the house. He 'nudged' me so hard that he made fall down the stairs. That scared me. Not because he pushed me down the stairs, because I could see the anger in his eyes, that he wanted to hurt me more. He doesn't say anything of it anymore. He knows when we have arguments, that I'm going to bring it up. And I still do. And I'll carry on until I die. He's always so sure that he's keeping a close eye on me. Don't make me laugh! He doesn't know half of what I do when he's not 'watching me'. Trust me.
