A LIFE OUTSIDE OF MINE - On Hold

PROLOGUE

Trina

I sit silently at my desk at the public library. As you can guess, I am a librarian. That makes you really wonder if I am some sixty year old living the rest of her lonely life -with no kids and no grandkids whatsoever, alone, right? But, sadly - not really, I'm not.
I am seventeen. I got out of high school early because I was so smart.

Funny uhn?

Well, I have a good explanation or I hope it's good enough anyway. Presently, I live a shitty life with my single mom who tries her best to take care of me. But, there's only so much she can do since she had me at a tender age of fifteen and couldn't finish high school let alone college. She was on a scholarship, making it even worse. Her parents died in a car crash the day I was born.

Ironic, yeah? Seems like some sort of bad luck in form of a human. In short, I was bad news for my mum.

Before you start judging about how slutty you probably think she was, she was RAPED.

Not so smug now?

So, I never knew and still have no idea whatsoever who my father is. Anyway, I'm way over that. But as much as I love my mother knowing the life she sacrificed by not aborting me while she could, I am tired of this messed up monotonous life I'm living- work, eat, sleep, school and then all over again. It is freaking boring and I am so fed up. Right now, if I have any chance to escape this excuse for a life, I would grab it with both hands, even just for a little while.

Impossible, right?

Well, at least someone agrees with me.

Now that you know all these, including the fact that I work at the library as a special staff-cuz as a minor, you get paid less just to make ends meet, but that couldn't happen even if I kept on working my ass off at this and my two other part-time jobs for the next ten years, you probably feel sorry for me. You will probably feel even sorrier when you hear that, with all these and my mum working as a waitress during the day and a school janitor at night, I can't afford to go to college. However, I don't want and I am definitely not asking for your pity. So, don't be generous with it. We might be ragged and poor but I freaking HATE pity. Sue me. I couldn't give a flying lick.

That said, I just wanna let you know that, I am not usually this vulgar but a woman just came in and Morgan, my boss whom I love to pieces by the way, just had to explain why an 'underaged' is working here. In her own snide words,

'Is that even allowed?'

I didn't want him to but he did this a lot to prevent continuous questioning about my age and probably a police report on child abuse or something stupid like that.

Urgh!  People can be nosy idiots sometimes.

Just as I sink back into my talk with myself, thinking of all the things I would buy if I was actually rich and famous, something on the newspaper in front of me (which I got from my newspaper rounds this morning) catches my attention. I lean closer and almost gasp as I see what is written in the small column at the right edge of the paper.

WANNA LIVE THE DREAM? Here's the opportunity of a lifetime.
Win a trip to any country of your choice and guaranteed residency for four years. Buy your raffle draw ticket at any outlet of this newspaper or place an order by calling any of the numbers below and stand a chance to win. Only one person can win, COULD IT BE YOU? There's only one way to find out...

My breath hitches in my throat and my hands start to tremble in excitement as I read the advert over and over again. It was like my fantasising jumped right out of my head and into the paper.

Wild imagination? I know.

Call me Cliché but it seemed somehow...fated? I know its a long shot but I can't let such an opportunity pass me by. It's my dream come true. I am definitely buying that ticket. Then, it hit me, my mother. I couldn't leave her. She lives for me. I am her life. If I go, she will be shattered.

Fate is so cruel, giving me an opportunity that is just out of my reach.

Being me, I convince myself that I'll just buy the ticket for the heck of it.

You know you are hoping you'll win, don't even think about denying that, my subconscious screams.

Shut up! You don't even know me, I scream back in my head.

Duh! You idiot! I am you!

You know what? Forget it!

Already did. I bet you are smacking yourself in the head now for thinking you can win an argument against me.

Despite my internal struggle that day, I bought the ticket after getting off work and as weird as this seems, I won. I freaking WON. I can still remember how happy Morgan was for me. However, the sad thought that has followed me ever since is how heartbroken my mum must have been when she saw my letter. I can only imagine how she must have cried. Though I send her money monthly through Morgan, her face haunts me everyday and now, just six months before my pretend life ends, I must find a way to stay in Paris for good.

***
Hahaha! Do you think Trina is an a**hole? Are the hate daggers already being thrown at her? Honestly, she isn't that bad. It's amazing what effect the environment you grow up in can have on your character and behaviours. I mean you can't exactly blame her.

Anyways, next update is coming up soon.