Enchanted by Sins

Chapter 15

I think I may love her, and I fully well know that I love you, too. It's a confusing triangle that has me knotted by the throat, suffocating me. The whole thing has me set on edge – I can't think, can't feed.

And then there's my boss. The guy, who's made this all happen. My scholarship, my entry after everything, and the gold jackpot – he's very smart, that guy. Thing is, I'm worried I might get figured-out. But, luckily, I'm not alone, no, I have a partner, and she is the most amazing girl. She's the girl I might possibly be in love with; you.

You're staring down at me, with a look that sends me to another dimension. But then when you speak to me, I see her. At times, I feel as if I'm betraying her trust, and yet, the other times I don't. I know that I can never be angry at you – you're my angel – and it's the opposite for her. When I stare deep, deep into her big, round eyes, I see another boy, not me. Yet, she's my girl, who would never cheat on me and you – I immediately see you with someone else when I have you in my arms, telling you how sorry I am, for everything. Sometimes I feel like you've forgiven me, and then there are days when I know you haven't – you are a very confusing girl. But that's what pulls me in. She's not complicated like that. Rather a simple girl, who every boy would be muttering to themselves how out-of-her-league they are. You, on the other hand, can be that girl. But you choose not to be. Hard to get, that's how I see it. Boys know they can have you, but you make them think otherwise. I know you still want me; you're just not ready to forgive or forget what I did.

There is one thing you both have in common, though. The fact that if she found out: about you, and our past, our present, she'd leave me. And your distrust issues – it's beginning to drive me mad that I haven't got you, because I want you. I want you; can you hear me?

And it's a long and complex matter because I want her, too.