Taylor's P.O.V
To love at all is a very risky thing to do at all. It really is, shit its like stepping into an endless battlefield with no bullet proof vest. You can give yourself to someone and they can throw it all in your face and trust me I've been through the bullshit already. You put yourself at risks to get your heart broken.
To lose yourself in who you truly are; just because your so wrapped into someone, that you try to become what is they want you to be. Now I personally believe that when you love someone or fall in love with someone there should be a 'Caution' sign. Like WOAH WOAH ! BUDDY! STOP. I wish love was like that, but instead all you get in the end is jars full of broken hearts and false hopes.
I honestly wished that I would have been warned when it came to this love thing. To know that the person you confide in the most, that you open yourself up to and allow to see you, flaws and all; turns out to be the person that hurts you the most. This is the worst part about falling in love and being in love. You get hurt in the process because in reality there are only a few that know what its like to love someone selflessly and confidently.
Shit had I known all this I would have never even gave Dominic a second glance. I also want to thank him as well. Without Dominic, I wouldn't have the precious gift that I have now. Now Sasha was the beautiful possession that I got out of this 'dog eat dog world'. To have someone who will love me for me regardless of my flaws.
This beautiful little girl who gave me life the moment that I pushed her into the world. Sasha taught me what true love is, what it's supposed to feel like and not that fairy tale bullshit. Real love. I thank god everyday for giving me Sasha, she truly saved me from falling into the depths of despair. I am so happy that I have a chance to call myself her mother. She is the best thing that has ever came out of my life. If I had a chance to change the outcome of my life, I wouldn't. The life that I have now is priceless as long as she is in it.
Pulling into my driveway, I noticed my lights on in the house. Now I know I cut the lights off when I left this house this morning. Opening my house door quietly and slowly. I could hear giggling in the kitchen. Walking inside I could see the back of DeMario's head. Slowly approaching them I smacked him on his neck. He turned around pulling his pistol out of his waistband.
"Demario, its just me put that away!", looking toward Sasha she was oblivious to what was in his hand because she was to busy laughing.
"You play too much Tay", I just mushed him and he tried tripping me. This guy is like more of a brother than a cousin. He knows me like the back of his hand and visa versa. Out of all the people that I have known he's the only person that stayed. I know that I can count on him if I truly need him. He was truly a blessing in my life along with Sasha.
Pulling Sasha into a bear hug she began to kiss my face, "I missed you so much, did you miss me?
She nodded her head and yelled, "Yes mommy!"
I played with Demario and Sasha for the majority of my evening. Eventually Demario left, I finally put Sasha to sleep. For some reason, I don't understand my mind wandered over to Ahmad. Here I am laying in bed and all I could think about is him. It seems as though whenever I am alone with my thoughts, he comes to invade them. I honestly don't know why I keep thinking about him; he is truly an asshole, but he intrigues me in more ways than one.
I mean truly, he's like my hero in a sense. It was just something about the way that this man wrapped his arms around me, it gave me the chills. He gave me a feeling of something I haven't felt before. He is handsome though if I must admit though. His dark chocolate complexion, nice lips, and those DREADS. Those dreads sent me crazy, they just fit him so well. Did I mention the way he licks his lips? He had me in a trance sometimes.
