Dear Somebody, (A Book Of Open Letters)

To My Best Friends I Can't Spend Time With Anymore,

Hi.

You are all pestering me at FB, trying to arrange a date when we could hang out and asking me if I could come, and my answer is always the same.

"I'll try."

Or, "I'll see what I can do."

Whenever I say that, what I really mean is, "I'm so busy at school and home that I'm not sure if I can go, so if I can't don't be angry because I never said a definite yes in the first place."

Or, "My parents are so strict I don't know if I can bear answering their questions without losing my patience and sanity."

And you will all end up hanging out without me, because I can't go after all.

And the next day, I have to suffer the envy while I look at your photos having fun without me.

And then I'll make up scenarios in my head, imagining what we could have done if I only made it.

And then I'll find myself feeling a little strange, feeling like I want to cry, because the fact that I terribly miss you guys will hit me like a bus.

And then I'll wonder if you ever said, "I wish *insert my name* was here. It sure will be more fun if only he/she made it."

And then, our past memories at school when we used to have so much time for each other will come back to me, remembering the times when we would laugh so hard until our cheeks hurt we could hardly talk clearly and breathe properly, and then I would find myself saying, "If only I could go back to that time."

And I would scroll down for more stuff in my news feed, never really concentrating on the memes and pics, because my mind was still on us, on our friendship.

Many times I find myself worrying if one day we all see one another after we graduate from college, will we still recognize one another?

Will we still have that effortless relationship where we don't have to think hard of what to say, because we are never awkward enough for icebreakers?

Will we still have that wonderful comfort we unconsciously feel just by being there with one another?

Will we still be the crazy, mental people we transform into whenever we are together?

Will we still be able to throw brutal jokes at each other carelessly and then later make up for it, without feeling secret hatred for each other?

So many questions, only the future holds the answer.

We had our fun when we were together, we had our laughs, our crazy moments, our ups and downs, we had our memories.

Let's just focus on the present now, shall we? And let us leave it all for time to give us another chance to start a new chapter in our friendship.

In the future, let us renew all those memories as we add lots of it with one another.

For there is no future as sweet as spending hours laughing with you crazy people I call my BEST FRIENDS.

So let's take our time growing up and studying for the last chance, shall we?

And I will bear my itching longing for you guys, because I know time will come that I will hunt you down and demand for time and attention.

By then, be ready.

I will give you many years worth of tight hugs.

I will make up for all my absences by buying you delicious foods we will consume slowly because we are all busy catching up while eating.

I will make my off-days count.

Be ready for that.

Yours truly,
Your Best Friend Who Seriously Misses You

Author's Note: I personally dedicate this to my girls, Lynlyn, Jane, Unnie, Maknae, and Manager Alex. I wrote this with you guys on my mind and nobody else. Luv ya!