Finding Serena

Two Halves

  Derek and I sit in the backseat of Nick's car. I hold his arm and lean my head on his shoulder. Nick looks at us in the rear-view mirror.
"Serena?"
"Yes, Nick?"
"Are you scared?"
"I'm, I'm not sure."
"Me neither."
"I'm scared that she'll hate us, for coming to see her."
"Don't worry. She might hate me, but she won't hate you."
"Okay..."
I lay my head back down on Derek's shoulder. He puts his arm around me.
  We arrive at the Massachusetts State Prison and get out of the car. I hold Derek's hand. We walk in.
  We walk up to a front desk with glass touching the top of the desk and the ceiling, like when you go to the movie theatre and get your tickets.
A young woman sits behind the glass. She greets us with a smile.
"Hi my name is Amy, can I help you?"
My brother answered her.
"Yes we would like to see Sidney Lizedale."
"Wow. No one has ever visited Lizedale. How do you know Misses Lizedale?"
"I'm her son, this girl here is her daughter, and that boy is her daughter's boyfriend."
"Great. Let me call up someone to take you in."
"Alright. Thanks."
We sit on a bench they have in here and I hold Derek's hand in my left hand and Nick's hand in my right. A tall man walks in.
"I'm Gregg. You here to see Lizedale?"
My brother stands up and shakes his hand.
"Yes, sir."
"Follow me."
We walk into a room where he pats us down to make sure that we don't have any drugs or weapons and he guides us to a table.
"I'll be right back with Sidney."
We're left sitting alone at a table. I'm about to meet the woman who killed my father and tried to kill me and my brother. Gregg comes back with my mother.
She's a brunette, like nick but has green eyes, like me. Her mouth is bent down at the corners and wrinkles sitting upon her father young face.
"You have twenty minutes" Gregg says and leaves.
I look at my mother as she speaks.
"Who are you?"
Her voice is soft and innocent. I speak.
"I'm your daughter, Serena. This here is my brother, your son, Nicolas or Nick if you prefer, and this is my boyfriend, Derek."
She follows my hand as I point to the boys and announce their names.
"Serena. Last time I saw you, you were only ten months old, and Nicolas, you were five. Well, what would you like to ask me?"
I speak again.
"Why did you do drugs?"
"I didn't mean to start drugs. I went to a party, your father was away with his college friends, and somebody slipped some drugs into my drink, but once you start, you can't stop. I got off the heroine and crack, but I kept smoking and, the house burnt down."
"Did you try to quit smoking?"
"I tried very hard to quit. It's just, not easy, I can promise you though, if I ever get out of jail, I won't smoke another cigarette again. I can promise you that."
"How did you and dad meet?"
"We met at a college party, it was my sorority and his frat house. We met that night and talked and then we started dating."
"Did you ever have the intentions of killing him?"
"Never in my wildest dreams."
"Did you smoke around me or Nick?"
"No, I always went outside to."
"Then why did you smoke inside?"
"Your father was outside and I told him I had quit so I didn't want him to know. Then he came back inside and when I heard the door slam I got scared and dropped the match."
"Couldn't you have just blown out the flame?"
"I tried, it just made it bigger."
"Ok. I have no more questions."
"I have a question for you."
"Yes?"
"Could you ever forgive me for my sins?"
I didn't expect her to ask me that. I don't know if I can or not.
"Yes. You're my mother."
"Serena, you have no idea how much that means to me."
"But."
"But what, Serena?"
"But you are not my mother. You will never be my mother. I will never call you mother and you will never call me daughter, do you understand?"
"Of course."
"Nick. Your turn."
Nick asked his series of questions and said he would never forgive her. Derek told Sidney how great it was to meet her and we left.
  We walk out to Nick's car and get inside.
"Nick!"
"What?"
"Couldn't you have just told the poor woman that you could forgive her? I doesn't mean you have to see her again!"
"I'm sorry, Serena, but I knew our dad. I can't forgive her."
"Whatever Nick."
We pull in our driveway.
"Hey, Nick?" I ask as I slam the car door shut.
"What, Serena?"
"Tell mom I'll be at Derek's."
"Whatever."
I get in Derek's car and we drive to his house. I say hello to his mother and hug her.
"Serena, I haven't seen you in so long! You look gorgeous, I knew you'd grow up to be a beautiful girl, you were gorgeous when you were young to."
"Thank you, Mrs. Tompson. That's nice of you to say. You look amazing."
"Thanks honey, can I get you two anything to eat?"
Derek nods.
"Sure, thank you Mrs. Tompson."
"You're welcome, Serena."
Me and Derek eat chicken wings and noodles with Mrs. Tompson. We then head upstairs to Derek's room. We sit down on the couch that he has in his room.
He looks at me with a shy smile on his face.
"What?"
"My mom's right."
"About what?"
"That you're gorgeous."
"Stop it." I say giggling.
"No, I mean your hair is parted to the right, your right, my left, you have green eyes. You have super white teeth, and your nose isn't to big and is turned slightly upwards, not too much though, barely so much that you can even see it."
"Wow."
"Wow what?"
"I didn't think that you paid that much attention to me."
"Who else would I pay attention to. Come here, I wanna show you something."
We walk over to his dresser and he pulls out a key from underneath. He walks over to his desk and unlocks a drawer with pictures in it.
"Serena, I have loved you for as long as I can remember, I have saved every picture that we've ever taken together."
"Really?"
"Yeah, really, I'll show you."
We again sit down and look through the pictures.
"See, look at this one, it's our first trip to Canobie together, and this one is at my grandfather's funeral, I remember you were so mad because you had to wear a dress."
I laugh.
"This one is at your house in two-thousand seven in your pool. You were ten and I was eleven because it's two-thousand fifteen now. And this is my favorite. It's me and you under that oak tree that they sawed down at the park. You're kissing me on the cheek in that picture. You're twelve and I'm thirteen."
"Thank you, Derek."
"For what?"
"For showing me these."
"Of course, I'd do anything for you."
We kiss.
"Now that was better than your twelve-year-old kiss."
"Don't get too ahead of yourself, I can make it worse."
"How so?"
"Don't test me, Derek."
"Fine, let's watch a movie."
"Can we watch my favorite movie?"
"Yep. What is it?"
"I'll get it myself. Close your eyes."
I get up and go towards his TV stand. I pull out some of the drawers until I find the movie I'm looking for. I put it in the player and press play.
"Can I open my eyes now?"
"Hang on."
I get a blanket from his bed and lay with my head on his shoulder and put the blanket over us.
"Okay, open your eyes."
"I knew you'd pick Jurassic Park."
"How'd you know?"
"I know everything about you."
"What's my favorite ice cream flavor?"
"Chocolate."
"Favorite smoothie flavor?"
"Strawberry."
"What's my favorite anime?"
"You don't watch it."
"Okay fine, you win. And by the way, vanilla, banana and you don't watch it either."
He laughs.
"What?"
"You're just cute."
"Watch the movie."
"We begin to watch the movie and we both fall asleep slowly.