Wonderland//M.C.

0.1

Maybe drug addicts are the normal ones.

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It feels like someone stops me from living.
No matter what I do,it's wrong.
No matter how hard I try.
No matter how much I want it to be right.
Everyone is pushing me to something I don't want.
Everyone keeps pushing me into a life I don't want to live.
I don't want any of this.

I don't want school or a job or a big house.
I want to have fun.
When did our life's became this?
This unnecessary thing everyone tries to go through.

I always thought I can reach everything I want to,every dream can come true.

Nothing is like I expected it to be.
Two weeks left of school.
I didn't plan anything for the future.
I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life

College?no thanks.
After years and years of school I definitely do not want more of that bullsh*t.

"Darling,please.Think about it.It's your future we're talking about."

I want her to shut up.
I want my mother to shut up.

"Why should I want a boring future?Why should I go to college,just to live a senseless life?"I ask.
She does not answer.

I am sorry that I am not the daughter my mother wanted.
I feel sorry for my whole
Family and my friends,teacher and everyone else who has to deal with me.

"I will leave now.Michael is waiting."

She seems to not care about me leaving.

I go out of the door and start walking towards my best friends car.

Everyone thinks Michael and I are dating,we're not.
We are friends since years.
I love him.
As a friend.

And I know he does feel the same for me.

I open the door of the black car and look at my red haired beat friend.

"Hey doll."he greets me.

Doll is his nickname for me.
Since I always played with dolls and my name is Dola.
I have no clue why my parents named me this.

I greet him with a smile and he starts to drive.

"How are you?"
He always asks me that.
I know it's kinda normal for a friend to ask another friend that by he does it all the time.
I lie.
"Fine and you?"

He knows it.
He does not say anything and tells me that he's good.
Which is true.
Michael is happy.
I don't know why.

Michael can make
Me smile like no one.

He is the reason why I am still here.
I tried to leave but I couldn't.

"Another talk with your mum?"he asks and does look at the road.

I nod.
I know he does not see me nodding because he isn't looking at me but I know that he knows that the answer is yes.
"But this time we did not really talk much.I guess we both had enough talks."

He laughs and turns his head to me.

"You should really think
About your future Dola.I know you get annoyed if someone talks about it but it's true.You have to think about it.You don't have to go to college but you have to do something.Or life will go on without you."

I don't answer.My eyes start to hurt because I try not to cry.

It's ridiculous that I want to cry but I just can't hear this whole future stuff anymore.
Everyone has a plan.
I don't.

I have two weeks.

Michael is right.
Life will go one without me.

My mother is right.
I have to think about my future.

My teachers are right.
I will reach nothing in my life.

And that takes me back to: why should I try?

I don't want to work or go to college.

Spending years in college is nothing that is going to let me live.

Years of working are not going to make me happy.

What is going to make you happy Dola?

My own life will.
I want to see life through my own eyes
Without someone telling me what to do or how to live.

I want to be what I can be.
What I can be on my own.

"What are you thinking about?"

I look at Michael.He smiles at me.

"Nothing.What are we going to do?"I ask and he does not have a clue either.

We often just drive around the city.
Till it gets dark and the city is full of lights.

Beautiful lights.

Nights are wonderful.
The city seems to get colours and the people get happier.
Colourful and bright lights shine.

The grey city gets beautiful and all the people in it start to live.
I wish it would always be that perfect.

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After 3 months there is the first chapter.
I know it's kinda boring& not really connecting to this whole wonderland stuff but the next chapters are gonna be better and more interesting.
I just wanted you to get to know Dola a bit and how she thinks and stuff.
Xx
Di