Rebel: Michael Clifford

17

I can feel the puke rising up in my throat at the sight in front of me.

Right there, on my couch, is Michael and that Allison girl.

It takes them a second to notice us, but when they do Michael says, "can you leave us please?"

I know that I shouldn't be upset because Michael and I aren't dating or anything, but tears form in my eyes and they threaten to spill out onto my cheeks. I quickly, well, as quickly as I can, carry Jenna upstairs to my room. once there I quickly shut the door and let out a few tears.

"Shhh," Jenna slurs, "don't cry, you're an ugly crier."

I can't help but laugh, "thanks."

"Anything for my best buddy." she gives my face a weird pat. "now go get me another beer."

"I think you should drink water now."

"I don't want water." she whines. "only boring people drink water."

"Oh then it's perfect for you." I tease.

"Hey," she protests.

"Go lay down." I tell her. "and I'll go get you something to drink."

"Okay," she agrees and lies down on my bed.

I walk back down stairs and silently pray that Michael has taken Alexis to his bedroom.

Luckily he has. It must be my lucky day.

I roll my eyes at that thought. Today has been anything but lucky. Except for meeting Ethan, that was pretty amazing.

I practically skip back upstairs while thinking about him. He's everything I've ever dreamt of in a guy, cute, funny, a little shy, considerate of others, and he likes reading. That's literally the best combination of personality traits.

When I open my bedroom door I find that Jenna has already fallen asleep. I silently laugh as I set the water I grabbed her down on my bedside table.

I silently change into some comfy pajamas and then grab a blanket and pillow. I set up a little makeshift bed on the floor. Before I know it, I'm drifting off into complete darkness.

*~*

When I wake up Jenna is still sleeping, I decide to leave her because she's bound to have a nasty hangover and I'm not ready to deal with that.

I walk downstairs to find Michael making pancakes. "those for Amanda?" I ask.

"Her name is Chelsea." Michael rolls his eyes.

"Huh," I say, "I could've sworn her name started with an A." Even though the pancakes aren't for me I steel one off the top of the pile. Michael glares at me. "are you mad at me or something?" I ask in disbelief.

"Thanks to you, I'm in hot water with Chelsea." he accuses.

"Your welcome," I joke. "I know you fantasize about fucking in a hot tub."

He doesn't think it's funny. "I told you that her and I were hanging out tonight."

"Yes, and then you left, so I assumed that you were hanging out at her house. Maybe next time you should make that more clear." I can't believe we are even arguing about this.

"I had to tell her that you were my cousin." he says through gritted teeth. "and that you were visiting from out of town."

"Maybe next time you should just tell her the truth." I shrug. "that's a lot easier than keeping track of all your lies."

"She gets jealous." he's clenching the plate so hard I'm afraid that it'll break.

This makes me mad. "You don't think that I get jealous when you choose her over me!" I yell and then immediately regret it.

"What?" he had a stunned look on his face that tells me he doesn't know what just hit him.

"Nothing." I turn to walk out of the kitchen, but he grabs my shoulder and spins me back around.

"Did you just say that you're jealous of Chelsea?" he smirks.

"No," I lie. "what I meant was I just get lonely here in this big house sometimes an when both you and Jenna are busy I feel like no one really wants to hang out with me."

Michael gives me a sympathetic look. "I really enjoy hanging out with you, I do, but I have other needs that aren't fulfilled by hanging out with you." he tries to explain it in a way that won't hurt me, but it does. It stings worse than a bee. He basically just said that I'm not sexy. I'm not the kind of girl that guys want to date.I'm the kind of girl who is just one of the guys.

"I understand." I say, giving him my best fake smile. "I'm just going to go check back up on Jenna now."

I quickly hurry back upstairs before the tears can spill over. I rich into the bathroom and lock the door. Leaning against the wall I slowly slide down until I'm sitting on the floor with my head resting on my knees. Tears just keep falling out of my eyes. They just keep falling for every time I wasn't good enough. I was never good enough for my father growing up and now that had followed me up until now. I've never been good enough for a guy. I'm always too set in my ways for them to want me.

It's not fair, everyone always tells you to be different, be yourself, and every time I try I get shot down like a duck during hunting season. Being myself has never gotten me anywhere. I try and try and then try some more, and I never get anything out of it, well you know what, I'm done trying. I'm going to do whatever the hell I want from now on without giving a dam about what anyone has to say about it.

I pick up my phone and dial Evan's number. He answers and with this new mindset I have, I ask him if he wants to hang out.Of course he agrees. He asks where, and I tell him my place.

Better hold on tight because all hell is about to break loose.