The Family Man

Chapter 18

It was raining when Jackie heard the front door click shut. She didn't see his face as he bent his head low and wiped his shoes on the rug. Jack shrugged out of his wet jacket and slung it over the banister, eyes downcast and face ashen. Jackie was at his side in a handful of seconds. Her head dipped low and she grinned, "Was it that hard to give up the car?" She brushed her hand against his cheek.

He kissed her on the mouth. "No," Jack said finally, like deciding a verdict.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Always," he smiled. "Wanna go upstairs?"

"Sure."

Jackie trailed after him, hand cupped in his. They found themselves in the kids' bedroom. It was pitch black, except for the fluorescent green glow of the glow-in-the-dark stars and planets pasted all over the walls. A good afternoon had been spent creating these miniature galaxies. Jack let his fingers trail over a crescent moon and the rings of Saturn.

John was fast asleep, his covers kicked off and his fist drawn up to his lips (a thumb-sucker's greatest temptation). A grizzled old bunny rabbit had been tossed from the sheets; the boy couldn't sleep with anything in the bed with him. But he insisted on being tucked in with a toy, every single night. Jackie covered his legs and pulled over the sheets, letting her hand linger on his curls.

Jack stood in the center of the room. Jackie kissed his cheek and left him there.

He felt like crying. Legitimately, crying. His throat felt constricted, like an air bubble had been trapped there.

Dad?"

Caroline was propped up on an elbow, eyes squinted against the darkness.

"Hey, kiddo." The mattress squeaked under his weight. "I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"I'm not tired," insisted the girl. She lay back down, head cushioned against his arms.

Jack's smile was crooked, "Of course not."

Caroline traced the pinstripes on his pillowcase. "Can I go to work with you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Really?" Massive blue eyes met his.

"Anything you want." He kissed her forehead.

Caroline's grin was wide and unmistakable, even in the darkness. "But I have to sleep."

"You have to sleep," Jack agreed.

"Okay." She nestled back into the covers. "Love you, Dad."

Jack smoothed her hair back. "I love you too, Buttons."

Twenty five minutes passed before Jack was actually able to drag himself out of the bedroom. He watched Caroline fall asleep and clicked the door shut behind him, feet dragging into the hall. In his room, Jackie was sitting at the dresser, unhooking her earrings. They clattered by the mirror and she grinned at him from the reflection. "Hey, stranger. Did you get sidetracked back there?"

"A little," Jack smiled.

Jackie raked a hand through her hair, shaking it out of its clip so that it tumbled onto her shoulders. She had already changed. His old college t-shirt and pink striped PJ bottoms was a little unethical, but she was kind of adorable in it. She was swaying her hips slowly to a soft, grainy Nat King Cole song. He hadn't even realized that the clock radio was turned on.

"You wanna dance?"

Jackie looked skeptical, "It's eleven o'clock."

"So?"

"So," she laughed. "I guess I'm yours."

Jack pulled her close and Jackie linked her arms around his neck. He rested his cheek against hers. "This song has really shitty quality."

"I think it's cute."

"L is for the way you look at me," Jack pressed his lips into her hair.

"Corny but cute," corrected Jackie with a wry smile. They rocked back and forth to the melody, and she twirled on the balls of her bare feet.

The song was interrupted by a Q102 sweepstakes announcement, and Jackie stopped and curtseyed graciously.

"We can still dance through staticky radio personalities," Jack said softly. "I just want to be with you."

Jackie tilted her head. "You always will be."

"Promise?"

"Of course."

In the end, he had struggled. Jackie fell asleep nestled against him, and Jack had held her as long as possible. His eyes were trained on the ceiling. Fighting sleep had never been so heartbreakingly difficult. But Jackie was warm and he was lulled by the sound of her breathing; Jack drifted off, dreamless and gone.