Cubicle [h.s. au]

12) Lost In You

Tuesday // Roni

What is too soon?

Is it too soon to have these feelings...or any feelings at all? And if I am having feelings, what exactly do they mean? Oh God, I like him. I really like him!

Harry and I had chatted on the phone last night for almost two hours. He's so easy to talk to, like I'm chatting with my best friend, yet he's also very flirty. When we hung up, I felt a mixture of sadness and elation. I went to bed with the image of his smile behind my eyelids, and the feeling of his hands on me.

He was already in the break room when I arrived this morning, his greeting all I needed to perk me up. I sat next to him at the table while we sipped our beverages, saying good morning to those whom walked in, including Alice, Fred from the sales department and the young man that sits in the cubicle next to Harry's. Unfortunately, Gerard Holcomb also entered. I said nothing to him, though he made it a point to give Harry the evil eye. Harry flat out asked me for another lunch date in front of everyone, knowing Gerard was within earshot.

We had another nice lunch at Cafe Meringue, and this time as we walked back to the office, he held my hand. Part of me wanted so badly to ask where this was going, but reckoned it wasn't the time nor place. Besides, I know he likes me. This is more than just sex. I'll just take it with ease, the same way he seems to be. But if I'm being honest, my insides are about to explode.

I tried not to think about him too much for the rest of the afternoon, and fortunately I stayed busy and somewhat distracted by some work that Greta and a couple of salesmen had me do for them. I was actually a little surprised that I hadn't seen Gerard come by my desk by the time I was gathering my things at the end of the day. But just as I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder, he appeared, looking a bit disgruntled.

"How was your lunch?" he inquired.

I wanted to tell him it was none of his business, but instead I told him the truth. "It was quite lovely, thank you."

"You and Styles, then, eh?"

I raised my eyebrows, not exactly sure what he was asking. "We had lunch, yes."

"You two are getting along splendidly, I presume?"

I sighed, not really in the mood to discuss Harry and me with Gerard.

"Yes," I replied. "He's very nice."

I stepped towards him then, hoping I could squeeze past him and make my way to the parking lot. But he blocked the space between my cubicle partitions.

"Any plans tonight?" Gerard asked.

"Not really," I said. This bloke doesn't take a hint well, does he? "Just a date with the telly."

I waited for a second, expecting Gerard to say something else, or perhaps ask me out, but he didn't.

"Have to get going," I told him as I was finally able to push past him. "Good evening, Gerard."

I knew he was watching me as I marched down the hall, but I didn't look back.

As soon as I got home, I stripped out of my clothes and put on a pair of grey joggers and a black tank top. Then I pulled my hair back and scrubbed off my makeup. I made myself a quick, easy dinner and sat down in front of the television.

About an hour later, and halfway through a pint of ice cream, I realized I had no idea what I was watching. My mind was elsewhere. To be specific, it was on a certain co-worker with a killer smile and a talented tongue.