The Dancer I Never Knew » Cameron Boyce and Dance Moms

Chapter{2}

"She felt like a complete stranger to me, she was the girl, the flawless dancer I never knew..."

Chapter {2}

ANGEL ROCHELLE

As darkness approaches, the beautiful music of my last performance played as I pranced around the glimmering stage with a couple of other teammates. I felt overly confident and I felt like nothing could stop me as I'm continuing to make some progress in accomplishing my life-long dreams. As I leaped, danced, and jumped around the stage, I kept staring at the audience. I told myself not to look at them because I would detract my mind from memorizing the hard work I developed overtime; therefore, that was so difficult somehow. The five words that Cameron expressed to me seemed to appear suddenly and unexpectedly inside my head.

"This is only the beginning..."

As I was finishing up the dance, I glanced towards the wings to see if Cameron was there waiting for me, and he was.  I could tell by the look on his face that he was overwhelming with eagerness. He made me grin widely as I positioned my final pose. This was an incredible experience to be able to do something I never thought I would even touch. I was exceedingly satisfied with my achievements.

I've been dancing since I was six years old. My mother first signed me up for classes in first grade or elementary school. My dance school was a performing arts school, so you would have to audition there. I honestly have no idea how I absolutely got accepted into that school. I took every class available at the age of eight. That's when I started to grow the love for dance. I would practice everyday from before school and after. By the age of nine, I intimated almost everyone in my class. Absolutely no one would want to go up against me. This time I received an invitation to join the company competition team for various reasons, that's where I met my best friend. He was slightly taller than me and he had black  hair and freckles. He was so adorable and he was one of the teacher's pets. We first met when we were paired in a group number and was forced to work together, it turned out great until months later when my father was informed about it and he tried to rip us apart, tried to make me stop connecting with him. His challenge was un-successful. Every chance we got we hung out which made him even angrier and that's when the trouble started. He'd beat me any chance he'll get without my mom finding out and if I tell he threatened to beat me some more until I bleed internally. That describes the bruises on my body, covering them with makeup is all I can do now. Most of them faded away, therefore, certain ones did remain. There's nothing more I can do but hide them. I'm just hoping Cameron or my mother is or are not the first ones to discover it.

My father left when I was eleven years old. My mother and I were both devastated when he left. Even though he abused me, was a drunk or an alcoholic, and a smoker, he was the person that kept the household running. When he walked out with his bags that one unlucky day, its like the whole world dropped on us, a ginormous green and blue marble hit us right in the gut. We were in complete danger, we had no money, which my father had the audacity to take from us and not leaving a penny.

As weeks passed, we didn't have food to eat, new clothes to wear, and no car that he also taken from us too. My grandmother (before she passed away) took great care of the house for us while we were still trying to catch up on our feet. I never told Cameron this as it was happening, just because being the person he is now, I didn't want him to worry, but I'm starting to regret that decision I made. I should've told him, I should've told him everything when I had the chance instead of lying to my best friend.

What kind of friend am I?

Sometimes I try to imagine life without Cameron, but I cant. All of this was because of him. If I never came face to face to him I would've never made it this far, never pushed myself harder, never would've been able to make my dreams come true. At that point I was ashamed. I realized deeply in my heart that not only did I lie to Cameron's precious face back then, I was still continuing to do.

What am I doing here? I don't deserve this!

Guilt came over me. I should of never gone to this school, I should've never got accepted here. I want to quit. I don't deserve everything I get. I see why my sister is the golden child, because she's the one that's perfect, unlike me. She's the special one, unlike me. Of course she gets what she wants cause she deserves it, maybe it is fair.

I leaped up-stage to see the one person I didn't want to see in the front row of the theatre, Cameron. I was feeling guiltier and guiltier at that moment. All of the important quotes Cameron have ever said to me came rushing back to me, I didn't deserve one of them.

"I love you so much..." He says to me all the time.

"No, don't love me, I don't deserve it."

"you're so important to me. You mean so much.." He sighs to me all the time.

"I don't deserve to have an important role in life. Stop it!"

"You've come all this way to give up now? I think not..." He'd used to say to me when I gave up dreaming.

"I should've gave up cause I don't want any of this anymore."

"Angel, this is only the beginning being here in New York, living your dream and performing with The Ballet and Performing Arts school in America who was recently voted number one in the school newspaper and Australia. I promise I will be with you every step of the way."

Everything I wanted to go around smooth and perfectly was turning to the wrong direction now. Where is this guilt going? Am I okay? What am I going to do?

This is extremely bad.

I know I'm not suppose to panic, but I was and I was shuddering dearly not focusing, I was losing my balance and the music was fading away. This can NOT be a worse time for it to be happening now, not while I'm performing. If I mess up one step it's game over for me, and I did.
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