The Dancer I Never Knew » Cameron Boyce and Dance Moms

Chapter{5}

"She felt like a complete stranger to me, she was the girl, the flawless dancer I never knew..."

Chapter {5}

CAMERON BOYCE

Fear is still rising over me as I twist and turn in my uncomfortable mattress.  I can't sleep, ever since I returned home, all I imagine is Angel's face. I imagine her scared and worried, like I am. Her countless breaths and her infectious laugh, she has it all. I lay on my back watching the ceiling for any usual changes.

"I love and miss you, Angel" I whispered to myself. "I hope you'll be okay. No, I know you'll be okay. I promise."

I chewed my bottom lip. I'm the one that needs to be diagnosed with cancer, not her. It's all my fault, I knew something was wrong but I didn't think anything of it. She must hate me now. I've never spent more than twenty-four hours away from her without seeing or talking to her, even if it's through text. I'm the one that caused her so much pain she didn't have to go through. I feel an enormous amount of fury inside me. I never felt this much anger since the day my mother died, which was last year. How am I suppose to make it in this world without Angel? I was a wreak when my mother passed, God can only imagine how I will act if Angel isn't one hundred percent by my side. I can't vision life without both of them. My mother died from cancer, brain injury, and heart failure. I wasn't about to have my best friend die the same way and the same reason; me. At this point, I deserved the worst. I don't deserve anything special anymore because of how stupid I am. My heart rate was pumping unbelievably fast and my blood was rushing through my body. I realized I wasn't laying down in my bed anymore, I was in my bathroom, looking at disgraceful self in the mirror.

You're so stupid! You don't deserve anything you got! You're a selfish bastard and you can't do anything about it! I heard my stepdad voice say to me.

"Ugh! Shut up brain!" I screamed at myself, or more like my stepdad's imaginary voice that is still unsurprisingly obnoxious. Over and over I still hear those words.

You're so stupid! You don't deserve anything you get! You're a selfish bastard and you can't do anything about it! She's the reason why you are the way you are today!

"Shut up and get out my head!" I roared. At this point i couldn't control myself. I spun to the half-naked wall to my left. Just pictures, a black, round clock, and a mirror dangle from it. Anger rushed through me and I forced my arm backward and lunging it forward, driving it forward about to hit the wall.

"Cameron, no! Don't!" I heard someone yell behind me; but I already thrust my arm forward hitting the wall, using a huge force, making my hand push through and creating a madly gigantic circle. I kept doing this over and over again until I got tired. Finally, I yelped in pain and held my fractured, bloody hand in my other. I began to whimper as  I close my eyes and slide myself down the wall I just ruined. I felt someone caressing my hand. My eyes shot open.

"Cameron..." The individual cried, it took me a few seconds to realize who it was.

"Angel?" I gasped, eyes wide and shock shivering down my spine as if she scared me.

"Cameron," she cried more, tears pouring down her cheeks. "Your hand, I-it's fractured."

You're the one who yelled my name before I-"

"Decided to be stupid? yeah, pretty much."

I pulled her into a tight embrace as she gulped down her tears.

Great. I thought to myself, giving up on myself. I just made the girl I'm suppose to take care of forever cry.

"Cameron..." She swallowed her tears.

"Shh, it's okay," I hushed her, looking at the beautiful face of my best friend and nothing more; but I always have this fuzzy feeling in my stomach when I look her, I don't know why. When I always manage to eye her lips, all I think about is how they would taste on mine. Her soft, red lips brushing over my natural pink ones and the fiery feeling in my chest going crazy, it's hard not to imagine especially when it's stuck on your mine twenty-four-seven.

"Cam," she sobbed. I caressed her face and lifted her chin slightly to come face-to-face and eye-to-eye with me, which didn't come to her liking but it came to mine. she claims it makes her nervous and I like it when she's nervous because her cheeks flush red under her dark skin.

A lot of individuals complain about how Dark Skinned and white skinned cannot fall in love or be intimate with each other. That is definitely not true especially because my mother is white and my father is black and they're happily can be.

"Cameron..."

"Shh, Angel you don't have to talk..." I ran my fingers through her hair.

"No seriously, this is very important. You better listen cause I'm not saying this twice." she says softly, saying it so I can barely hear her.

"Well, what is it? What's on your mind? What's bothering you?" I throw questions at her.

"It's time," she sighs, her face going pale. "It's time to tell you the truth behind my tragic yet frightening childhood."
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