Hope

Chapter 13

"But I think I love harry too."

It took me a while to process the words that she just said.

Why does she love harry? He is the reason she's is like this, the reason why she's failing more than half of her classes and  not being able to even pick herself up. I have been the one picking up her broken pieces that Harry left and putting them back together.

I felt anger starting to well up inside me. That anger then started to gain more control over my own body creating rage, only seconds remain before I burst.

Addison could see what was happening and frantically tried to calm me down.

"Spencer I--"

She didn't get very far before I cut her off.

" Why harry? Ever since he left you I have been the one to clean up the messes that he left. I helped you! I cared for you! And you still love him?!" I yelled at her. Not being able to control my anger.  I hadn't realized that i had taken her arm with a strong grip. She winced at the contact.

Addie looked at me with her eyes filled with sadness. Her eyes burned into mine causing me to break the eye contact.  I couldn't stand being in the same room with her or anybody else, I need to be alone. I loosened my grip and  left the garage leaving Addison alone. I walked back to my house that was not that far away.

As I entered my house I could tell that jack wasn't here, I guess he had to stay extra hours at work. I dropped my bag at the entrance and layed down on my couch. Almost instantly cheddar sat on top of me. 

"Get off me cat."I spat as I pushed him off my legs. I was not in the mood.

He got off and ran to the kitchen. I let my head fall onto the arm of the couch as I tried to calm down. 

"God, what have I done." I said to myself as I rubbed the temples of face, trying to let all of this sink in. She loves harry, and I love her. 

Why does love always have to be complicated?

The worst thing yet is that I don't even know if she loves me. I forced myself too stand up as I  played the events that just happened. 

Her lips on mine, so warm and sweet, they just felt to natural. But I hurt her today, I didn't mean too. My hands just naturally do that when i argue, I guess it's a karate thing. 

I feel like a coward, leaving her in the garage alone after she just came back telling goodbye to the person that she loved  probably forever.

I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a granola bar before climbing up the stairs to go to my room. I sat at my desk looking out the window. 

It's raining. I love the rain, most people think that it means sadness and distraught, when actually I feel like it's power and courage. I guess I just think differently than people. 

I glanced down at my phone when it vibrated. I got a text.

Addiebear: I'm sorry for all of that. I love u, I really do. More than harry, I promise:)  I love you<3

I smiled at the texts,she said she loves me two times in that sentence , but I know she only said that to make me feel better. I picked up my phone and texted her back. 

Spencethebest: I am also sorry, for reacting that way, and for leaving u alone in the garage. :(

Almost as fast as she read it she responded. 

Addiebear: it's fine;) I hope we  can still be friends. 

I almost laugh at that comment, how does she think I won't be seeing her again. I can't live without her. Yeah i know it's creepy. 

Spencethebest: of course we can. 

Addiebear: ok well, goodnight xx

Spencethebest: goodnight adds. I love you too xx

With that I got up and walked to my bathroom and showers. I felt all of my muscles relax, this is one of the only places where I can think. Once  I was done with getting ready for bed I fell onto my bed and fell asleep almost immediately. I let myself get carried into my dreams.

***end of flashback***