Cam,
Often, I contemplate how different we have become. We were so close once. Remember how grand life was when it was just us two? Nothing to do about it now I suppose. There are days when I truly believe we don't understand anything about each other. I hold on to the hope that we will grow close again. I'll never let that go.
I do not mean this in any way other than lovingly, but I worry about you. Expectations and other social pressures weigh so heavily on you that I fear the mask will soon be all that matters to you. I don't want you to be a bundle of nerves and a list of guidelines. You are more than the accomplishments you can brag about.
I understand that we cannot be completely identical. Some differences are necessary, but you are losing yourself. You have told yourself, for so long, that partially existing is good enough. You do not have to settle for good enough. There is a balance, a happy medium, a way to live fully, exceptionally. It is so much better than good enough.
I do not have the words to properly express how grateful I am that you have protected me for so many years and I know you will continue without complaint. The distance between us has grown so vast it feels as though I have lost you. There was a time when we were virtually the same person. I know it can never be that way again and that is not what I hope for. I will continue reaching out to you. I will not give up.
With Love,
Gracie
