pretty boy in pink » muke

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when i woke up, i only wished i'd be swallowed by sleep one last time. pain shoots though ever inch of my body. curling up in a ball hurt so bad but i did anyways. it was the only position i was comfortable in. having my knees to my chest and my face in my knees. i felt like no one could hurt me.

but they can.

when (69ayee) i woke up, i cried. i cried over my mom who is supposed to be the one person i trust. i cried over my daddy who i should look up to instead of cower every time i see his drunken face. i cried over my baby sister who has been so strong over her years. i cried over luke who threw my heart onto the ground and stomped on it. i cried for me. me..

when i woke up, i wanted to die. but i didn't. why? i have no idea. maybe it's the thought of leaving pj, the only person who still cares for me. she acts tough, never letting a single tear escape her bright blue eyes. but i know she's broken. i know she can't stand to hear her mother and brother scream at one another constantly. i know she hates life just as much as i do.

instead of dying, i got out of bed for another day. i pass by my dresser. i pass by my closet. i walk right out of my room and into the bathroom. when i looked into the mirror, a monster stared back at me. he had ugly purple hair with ugly eyes and an ugly nose and an ugly body. he was disgusting.

"i f*cking hate you." i whispered to him, going under the sink to find what i needed.

black hair dye.

mom had let pj dye her hair one halloween and we forgot to throw it out. i take out the dye and start my mission. it took a while. i'm not sure what time it is but it took about forty minutes to fully dye and rinse my hair. when i looked back into the mirror, i cringe at the lack of color. after blow drying, i look into the mirror again. i looked so... different.

no one was awake yet, surprisingly. it was 8am, meaning pj should be up by now. she'll wake herself up, i'm sure. quietly, i make my way into my mother and father's room. the site before me was heartbreaking. they had their backs turned to one (420wordslolblazeit) another, as far away from the other as possible. no child wanted to see this kind of hatred coming from their parents.

i push it aside and go towards dad's closet, retrieving an long sleeved striped shirt and an oversized white t-shirt with 'metallica' written in the corner. it was ugly choice. nothing that i'd ever choose normally. instead of backing down, i rush back to my room to change. i squeeze into black skinny jeans i usually wear with a light pint sweatshirt, put on the long sleeve with the t-shirt over it, and search my closet for my converse. i once wore them with a purple dress. cute mixture, actually.

i look into my full length mirror, more disgusted than i ever was. who am i? what am i? i wanted to punch myself, too. i get how dad feels now. but i'm a boy. i'm michael. michael gordon clifford. not mikey. michael.

so why did i want to throw up?

i grab my pink backpack, staring at it. boys don't wear pink. pink is for girls. emptying the bag, i carry my stuff, instead. down the stairs i went. pj was sitting at the kitchen table. would she like me now? am i acceptable? clearing my throat, my little sister turns around.

"mikey? what are you wearing?" she stood up quickly. she wore khaki joggers, a white tank top that read 'obey' on it with a jean vest over it, and white Vans. she always looked cool. she dressed better than ever guy in her school, honestly.

"don't call me that anymore, pj. i'm michael." i mumbled, looking away from her.

"was it was dad said yesterday? you don't have to impress him, mikey-"

"michael! i'm a boy! boys don't wear dresses and skirts and have purple hair! i'm supposed to be a boy, pj!" i yelled, fighting back tears. my baby sister stares at me for a moment before shoving her hands in her pockets.

"sorry, but i don't like michael. michael isn't my brother. mikey is. call me when he comes back." the she grabbed her bag and walked out of the house. i could feel my heart shatter my chest. my parents didn't like me as a girl, my sister doesn't like me as a boy.

why am i such a fuck up?

Hey guys (: so tjis part was written by chee, the other co-owner who can't be on much.

PLOT TWIST THO

if you read this comment any predictions you have (^•^)

-Erin