pretty boy in pink » muke

Trust Issues

No matter what I do, I mess it up. I can't be good enough for my parents, so I tried to change. But PJ doesn't want me to. I'm trapped in between and I don't know how to make it right.

I ignore my thoughts and head off to school. No point in being late, my mom will only get angrier.

When I arrive at school, I ignore the strange looks and shuffle to my locker, grabbing my books. As I walk down the hall to my next class, I see ashton and luke, holding hands, and being all cute. I wanted to cry, I wanted to run up to luke and cry.
But luke won't care,
Not about me,
Only ashton.

So I wall past them, glancing over to notice a shocked luke looking at me. I look in his eyes, painfully and filled with sadness, and I walk away.

I walked away from luke.

My only happiness.

At lunch

As usual, I sit alone against a wall, in a corner. I sit there, thinking about how I can make PJ happy again. With me, with life. My thoughts get interrupted as I feel my phone buzz.

Lukey : Hey mikey.... can we talk?

I laugh.

I laugh

I laugh.

He wants to talk?

Fine.

Mikey: fine.... but my name is michael, not mikey

Lukey: come to my house after school ok? I'll drive you if you want.

Mikey: I can walk

Lukey: See ya later mikey (;

I put my phone down.

Michael not mikey

Michael not mikey

Michael not mikey

I only agreed to go see luke becuase I miss him.

Maybe he broke up with ashton

I doubt it

After school

It started to rain but I didn't care. I walked to lukes house and I was almost there, when he drove up.

"Mikey? It's raining, hop in, I'll give you a ride"

I scowled at him.

"No"

"Your getting all wet, I'm not leaving you here"

I couldn't help it. I burst.

"WELL IT WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME YOU LEFT ME, JUST GO LUKE, I'LL MEET YOU THERE" I screamed, tears running down my face along with raindrops.

Luke looked hurt. He got out and held my hand, bringing  me to the passage side and putting me in, getting back on the driver side.

"I told you I'll meet you there" I mumbled.

"And I told you to get in" Luke said sternly.

We arrived at his house and we both got out, running up to his door and going in. Luke grabbed my hand and led me upstairs, going into his room and rummaging through his drawers.

"Here" he said as he threw a sweater and some sweats at me. He turned around and I got dressed. But not becuase I wanted to, but becuase my jeans were sticking to my legs

This is why I wear skirts.

"Done" I mumbled and luke turned around, biting his lip for some odd reason. It took all my power to not curl up and cry in his chest. But that would be pointless becuase he's the reason I'm sad in the first place.

Luke sat down on the bed

"Mikey, I'm really sorry. Things with me and ashton were complicated and I thought we were going to break up. I don't know if I still love him" he sighed.

I sat beside him. "I trusted you. You made me happy, you made me feel special. But when you kissed ashton, you broke me. All of me." I started to tear up. Don't cry. Don't cry.

"I miss you" he mumbled

"I miss you too" I whispered

"Then come back, come live with me. And we can dye your hair pink again and-"

"It's not going to be pink again. That was mikey, I'm michael"

Luke stared at me

"You're mikey, the boy I had so much fun with, the boy I helped find a dress, the boy with pink hair, the boy I love"

Love?

Love?

Love???

"You don't love me. You can't. You love ashton"

Luke shook his head

"It's always been you. I broke up with ashton today after math. He understood quite well"

"Y-you did?" I was so happy. But could I just accept luke right away? He cast me aside, maybe I should let him pay.

"Mikey it can be like old times" Luke beamed.

I cringed at the name.

"I'm michael. I'm not mikey. Mikey was girly, everyone hated him. His father, his mother, his- his self. I'm michael. I'm a man"

"Well I love mikey"

"Mikey doesn't exist"

"well I don't know a michael, I only know a mikey." Luke almost yelled.

"I'm not good enough as mikey, and I'm not good enough as michael. I'm just not good enough, am I?" I whispered. Before he could answer, tears filled my eyes and I ran out of his house and all the way back home.

I quietly turned the handle and walked in, becuase I didn't tell anyone I would be late.

"MICHAEL GORDON CLIFFORD WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?"

He sounds so mad
He's gonna kill me.