False Start (Boyxboy)

9: RUMINATION

"Dinner" was popcorn, candy, and soda.  It was supposed to make us feel awful and reform our unhealthy eating habits, like convincing a smoker to quit by burning through a whole pack of cigarettes.  At the time, though, I felt nothing but a sugar high.

We'd all changed into our pajamas, not bothering to shower, and settled down on the steps of the camp's little amphitheater.  A flick about the world's first cross country team played on a projector screen as we gorged ourselves.  I sat between Niou and Keiji, who was nodding off into a food coma, with Yo on the other side of him, soft, luminescent patterns dancing across our faces.

Rather than pay attention to the movie, I relived the events of the day in my head and daydreamed about those to come tomorrow.   I'd survived one of the most physically trying afternoons of my life, and I was proud of myself for it.   At least a little bit proud. My muscles were tight and my body felt both weak and strong at the same time. I curled the fingers of one hand into a fist and flexed my forearm, studying how it swelled and allowing some confidence to surge through me. 

Tomorrow, I resolved, I'll do even better.

Niou shuddered beside me.  "It really is so much colder here in the mountains."  He was unfolding a blanket while he said it.

"Mmhmmm," was my mumbled response.

The skinny kid pulled his knees into his chest and hugged the blanket around him, nuzzling it against his chin.  It was sort of small and worn-looking with pictures of a popular children's cartoon character all over.  I assumed it was a relic from his childhood, something that meant a lot to him.

"I'm glad I decided to bring this out here," he chattered through his teeth.  "Do you want to share it with me?"

He asked with such nonchalance that I was taken aback.  "Oh, uh, thanks, Niou, but that's okay."

Against my will, he pulled it off his shoulders and set it over our laps, scooting a bit closer to try and fit both of us beneath the tiny thing.  Then he gave me the most genuine smile before focusing back on the projector screen.

An involuntary curve spread across my lips and I felt some heat in my cheeks.  My heart went out to the selfless guy. Such innocent affection was uncommon these days, and the benevolence made me reminisce.

Keiji and I used to make blanket forts during sleepovers and drink Milo while we played with our toys. I could picture it perfectly, our favorite mugs and the musty smell of old bed sheets. It had been a long time since vivid memories of my youth came back. 

For a while, he was extremely afraid of the dark. He'd walked in on his parents watching a horror movie, something about a murdering demon, and lost sleep for weeks. I'd been afraid of the dark, too, for years, and had used the same Totoro night light since I was a baby.   But after one of our sleepovers, and after feeling the blanket we shared shiver as he shook in fear all night, I unplugged the Totoro from my wall. In marker, I scribbled "BFFLs" across it's belly. Then I stowed it away in my overnight bag.

During the next weekend's sleepover, we set up our fort beside an outlet. I pushed my night light into place and draped a blanket behind it so that our cavern was illuminated.   Keiji slept soundly throughout the night, and just like that, I was over my fear.

When my mom came to pick me up the next morning, he told me not to forget my Totoro, but I said, "Keep it."

My mom seemed shocked but was glowing with bitter-sweetness as my best friend and I embraced. His face was scrunched up with sincerity when he thanked me.   Soon enough, he was over his fear, too.