I am Chris (bwwm)

New York dreams (9)

Chapter nine: New York dreams:
I thought I was done growing up when I had my eighteenth birthday. I didn't realize how wrong I was until recent events happened. It made me think back to every birthday I'd had. How each time I'd reflect on my previous age and think about how stupid I had been and how many mistakes I had made. I promised myself I would be better, the best I could possibly be. Every year. Every birthday. But why did the cycle always continue?

I was starting to realize that you never really stopped growing as a person, whether intentional or not. Some experiences just change you and you're forced to grow sometimes. This point in my life was definitely one of those times, I had been changing a lot in recent weeks and I wasn't sure how I felt. I was growing into myself on one hand, on the other it felt like I was gripping the flower of childhood and innocence, feeling the petals wither away in my hand, watching the leaves crumble and die.

Everything was both falling apart and coming together, I was trying to figure out my place in the hurricane of change.

After passing my exit exam last week, I had my interview for the waitressing job. I got the job and I'd spent most of this week doing training. Tonight was my first official night working. I was dressed in a plain black collared shirt and a pair of comfortable dark jeans. This wasn't my uniform, but I had tried the uniform on the day before and nothing had fit properly. That was the largest size the company carried, so I figured it would be okay if I wore this as a substitute.

I wanted to be there early, so I left fifteen minutes before my shift started, my aspirations in one hand, my anticipation in the other.

★-★-★-★-★

"You take the left side of the restaurant with Wes, if you have any questions ask him, but it should be pretty simple, right?" My manager Trip cocked an eyebrow at me. I'd been around him enough to realize through he phrased things like questions, often times he wasn't asking. Trip was a short man with a shorter temper.

"Yeah," I glanced at Wes. He smiled at me, his light brown eyes full of sympathy. Wes looked like a beach boy even though it was freezing out. His sandy brown hair was a little long, brushing the tops of his shoulders, and he had a deep tan.

Trip nodded curtly and spun on his heel, mutter something about paperwork.

After he was gone, Wes led me out of the break room and out into the doorway that led out to the floor. It was around four thirty, people were drifting in but it wasn't full. Wes tucked a loose strand of his hair behind his ear and crossed his arms. "You ready, kid?"

I rolled my eyes, suppressing a smile. "You're only two years older than me, I let it slide during training but you're going to have to stop that shit." I said pointedly. He laughed and flashed me a mischievous smile. "I'm ready," I added.

"You sure?"

"Apron," I tugged at the black apron. "pad and pen," I tapped the notepad peaking out of my apron. "Straws."

He nodded in approval then gestured for me to follow him out of the doorway. We went our separate ways, me to the right section him to the left. He told me if I needed anything, to find him.

There were only a few tables in my section, so I went to the table nearest to me, they were an older couple. I couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation as I walked over to them, this was the beginning of a new era. I should have been happy. Or at least looked it. I plastered on a smile and said, "Hi, I'm Veronica," I pulled out my notepad. "And I'll be your server tonight."

★-★-★-★-★

"You good, kid?"

I nodded, trying not to lose the number in my head. I was counting all the tips I'd earned tonight. My feet hurt from standing up for so long, I made a mental note to pick up some shoe inserts.  After totaling all my cash, I figured with the rest of my shifts if I made around this much in tips I should be able to cover my rent. But what about my groceries....?