finding my first love

chapter 4

1 month later....

" daddy loves his babygirl" legend said while kissing and playing Libby's hair they bond that they've grown was honestly adorable and it was such a turn on to him with not only Libby but Fabian too "babe I got to go make some moves today with jay and Rico " jay and Rico were legends friends that I met around the same time I met legend I really didn't like legend doing business with them but I know the game is all legend knows and he's not ready to leave it or the gang " ill be back tonight babe and I might have Fabian " I jumped with joy I loved when Fabian was around it made libby and legend so happy there were times where legend would just stop and stare and them and say wow im the luckiest man in the world it was sooo cute

after legend left I decided to get Libby and I dressed to go to the mall and to my moms house I haven't seen / spoken to her in weeks even tho we never got along and she abused me in many ways but it was Christmas time and something in my heart was telling me to go and see how she's doing I put Libby in a cute black onesie that said " pretty on fleek" with and beautiful red tutu and her bred 11's she looked so fucking cute and I wanted her to take pictures with santa hopefully she does good and doesn't scream and cry like most kids I see

ready Libby? I said as I buckled her in to her car seat

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we got to the mall and it was packedddd everybody was Christmas shopping , going to see santa , or just roaming around the mall it took us about 30 mins of waiting to finally see santa but when it was are turn i was really excited for Libby to see santa for the first time I sat Libby down and at first she looked like she was gonna cry but after she started playing with his beard she started smiling and giggling the photographer got a really cute picture of her smiling with santa I couldn't wait for legend to see it later he'll probably wanna come back so Fabian and libby can both take a picture with santa

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when i got to my moms house my stomach hurt , my heart was beating out of my chest and something was telling me not to go in but I went with my heart and went in anyways I might be making a mistake but I guess ill find out the moment I walked in this odor hit me like how Floyd mayweather hit pacquiao in the 5th round . There was trash everywhere, food on the floor ,drugs and empty alcohol bottles . My mom wasn't the cleanest but this shit was awful " mom" I yelled bulldozing threw the trash i'm glad Libby was sleeping cause this is something I definitely wouldn't want my daughter to see or smell . I walked all over the house searching for my mom I kept hearing a faint whimper that reminded me of a baby kitten I followed the sound all the way to the kitchen the sound was coming from the trash that clearly hadn't been took out in weeks I was hesitant about sticking my hand in there but something was in there and I wanted to know what it was as I slowly started to peel the trash out under a few paper towels and food scrapes was a poor defenseless baby clinging for his life my mouth dropped , my legs locked , and I was completely speechless

a few hours later ......

I was scared and didn't know what was gonna happen to the baby I kept trying to get in contact with my mom or her boyfriend but it wasn't working " what type of person leaves there fucking kid in a dumpster ?" legend asked with a pissed off look but I couldn't even answer it all I could do was cry When I was a child my mother abused me mentally, verbally, emotionally and physically. She used to beat me in the face and head, call me names, pull my hair and made me believe I was worthless. For most of my childhood, I didn't realize I was being abused. I guess I just thought it was normal. I think my mother has some sort of metal illness and I'm not sure if she even realizes she abused me. If she were to be confronted, I know she would deny it. She is a compulsive liar and has denied other things I have confronted her about. I hate her, but in some ways I still love and care about her but this was just low even for her legend could clearly see how sad I was so he came over a pulled me in for a long much needed hug " everything's gonna be okay babe " tears continued to drop and the only thing I could say is I hope so "family of Kaydence ?" we looked around kinda confused " the baby that was found in the trash" legend and I both stood up his name is Kaydence ? the doctor shook his head and handed me a note

Dear Kaydence ,

Mommy made a lot of mistakes with you and your big sister and im truly sorry I hope she's the one to find you because even tho ive never told her she is a wonderful person and a good mom and ik know she'll make an amazing decision regarding you and your life I just want you to know that I never wanted to leave you but I just couldn't bare to fuck up your life like I did your sisters and nova if your reading this im sorry and I hope one day you can forgive me but ive decided to go to rehab for not only myself but for you guys as well I cant raise Kaydence right now so im trusting you to make the right decision for Kaydence and I hope when we get home we can repair our relationship - love your mom who is off the rehab to make her life better

" so here's the update on Kaydence he's stable and looking good but he cant really breath on his own so we're keeping him under close watch for now but we need to know what your gonna do when it comes to Kaydence "? well I really don't know what my options are sir libby started screaming and legend was doing his best to calm her down but she was just really fussy legend please just take her outside

after he walked out the doctor continued " so you can make the choice to keep him or place him up for adoption or see if a family member will take him Into there care " my heart dropped and I didn't know what I was gonna do I was so young when I got pregnant and I remember when I was faced with these decisions and as a kid it was hard for me and now im being forced to do it again id like to look at potential families for him " alright come by tomorrow and we'll have some families for you to choose from " can I see him? he nodded and walked me toward the nicu and when I seen Kaydence it broke my heart to think of him having the life I had when I was a kid I want him to have a better life than what I had and I know placing him with a family that's stable and ready for a child . The nurse handed Kaydence to me and it took me back to the first time I held liberty it was a feeling that made me happy I was an only child my whole life and I know its going to kill me to let go of Kaydence so I have a lot to think about " Kaydence " " your adorable omg I wish Libby could see you" " i'm your sissy" " I don't know what im gonna do but whatever I choose ill always love you" I continued to have little conversations with him for a few more minutes until I handed him back to the nurse and headed to the car to find liberty and legend sound asleep he was in the passenger seat so I got in the driver seat and started heading home it was really late and I was exhausted i still didn't know what i was gonna do when i got pregnant with liberty i considered adoption for 8 month up until i had her pretty much but the first time i laid my eyes on her i fell in love with her and couldn't go through with it i want a good life for kaydence more than what i had as a kid my moms not stable to take care of him and i know as soon as she gets out of rehab and shes gonna want to raise him and say shes changed blah blah blah i have faith my mom will change but i have to do what best for kaydence

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we finally arrived home and i was so happy to just lay in my bed and sleep " so whats the next step"? legend ask as he took his shirt off

i guess tomorrow we go look at potential families for the baby i could tell he could sense that i was hurt

" babe you know we could raise him until your mom gets out if thats what you want "

idk babe i thought about that but we have enough to deal with im still not in school , we have libby and fabian , cooking , cleaning its just alot right now so idk if we could Handle another kid right now plus you know as soon as my mom gets out she's gonna put on this act like she's changed and she's gonna try to take him from me and I'll eventually find him in danger again I could feel tears starting to fall and I just buried my face in legends shirt I want the best for kayence and I think adoption is what's best so I think my mind is made up and as much as it kills me it's the right thing for him

Legend continued to cuddle me in his arms " I love you girl I promise that your my everything " those words echoed through my mind and made me so happy I'm so glad I found my first love

Yasssss what'd you guys think ?! 😍 this was one of my faves but I wanna know what you guys think about her mom , kaydence , rehab anything I love love love when you guys comment it makes me so happy and makes me want to update quicker