Bullet To The Heart |ManXMan| [PREVIEW]

Memories like a Killer

"Why didn't you stop me?" the voice Randy had worshiped echoed through the darkness in his head.

"Eli, you decided to go" Randy called out.

Eli, bloody, in his uniform walked out of the darkness and Randy gasped.

"You know you could have stopped me, if you had just told me not to go"

"Eli" Randy cried, tears streaming down his face, "Eli stop, Eli"

Eli, no longer bloody but back in his normal fashion, flannel and jeans.

"Honey, honey, shhhh" Eli held Randy close, "its okay, I'm right here, what's wrong? Did Blake say mean things to you again? I'll beat him up, it's okay honey bee, I'm right here, you're grizzly bear is right here" Eli kissed Randy softly, tears streaming down his own face, "it's okay, it's okay"

"Eli" Randy sobbed, his face red and his hands shaky, "Eli"

Suddenly the darkness clears and Randy is looking at a dark green carpet, he was dressed in a suit, Eli was gone and Randy looked up from the floor. The church had wide windows and several people sitting in the pew. A light oak wood coffin laid on the alter.

"No no no no no, not this day god damn it, not this day"

"We have taken this time to honor the life of one of the good ones in this town, Eli Mathews, he was a good son, a beloved friend, and a brave solider." A priest said and he looked at Eli, a large man in a formal army uniform.

"He wrote to his best friend back here since he was deployed, and a picture of Randy in his breast pocket and a latter Randy had written back" Randy placed his hand over his mouth.

"My name is Sargent Reed Dixson" the man said, "I was the commander of Eli's squad, I got to know him and he did hand me something to give to Randy" The man walked closer, a flag held against his chest, he whispered to Randy, "I don't know if you two were out yet but I have something personal to say, please follow me outside"

Randy said nothing, his hands were pressed to his lips as he tried to stop the loud cries from interrupting the peaceful ceremony. He nodded though and let Reed steer him out the front door.

"He gave this to me to read if he...well didn't make it back, he also gave me this picture" Reed handed Randy a picture of the both of them, a polaroid picture of them kissing, taken by one of their very close friends on a beach trip, "Dear Honey Bee, if Reed is reading this to you, the worst has happened, I have not come home to you. I want you to know, I love you, with my entire body, heart, mind, and soul, and there is nothing I would have changed when it comes to you. You are my sun and my moon and I am so sorry I didn't come home to you. But I will always be with you, know that. I wrote a letter to my parents' to but everything that was mine now belongs to you, all those hoodies you liked to steal and sleep in, feel free to drown your room in my body spray and you can sleep in my sheets, under my mattress is a bunch of letters to you, from when I was too nervous to tell you I loved you. Read those when you get sad, I'm not gone honey, I told you you can never get rid of me. I love you more than anything. ~ Grizzly Bear, forever yours, Eli"

Randy felt dizzy form crying and Reed opened his arms to catch him as he fell. Randy collapsed against Reed and felt the strength of Eli holding him back, he just wanted to die that day.

"Randy!" Randy opened his eyes and saw Elliot hovering over him, "Jesus, are you alright?"

Randy wrapped his shaking arms around Elliot's shoulders' and pulled the man down on top of him. Elliot didn't questions it, knowing how much Randy was hurting. Elliot, in fact, wrapped his big arms around Randy and held him close, moving them so they were both on their sides. Randy didn't cry his just breathed, getting used to Elliot's natural sweet smell.

"Do you wanna tell me what happened in the pretty little mind of yours?"

"I had a dream, about Eli"

"It's okay, he's still with you, and you know that"

"I-I-I know, but I want him, I wanna feel him"

"I'm sorry that you can't do that, I really am birdy, I know I want to feel Hose again, just one last time, I want his arms around me and his lips on my ear"

"And his hands on my skin and eye watching me carefully"

The twos men's lips were dangerously close as they whispered their wants to each other and in a second it all turned, Randy closed the space and covered Elliot's lips with his own.

{)2>k