A Little Love Collection

Five

I have been staring at 7 digits for two hours. Two, long, painful hours.

I was suppose to call her two hours ago, ask her out, and go get a haircut. But here I am: pacing back and forth in my living room like some kind love-struck teenage girl. Plus, my hair sucks. Every time I begin to punch in the digits I forget what I'm going to say.

Do I apologize? Since I never really got around to doing that...

Or maybe I should just ask her out? That's more bold, and I'm very bold...

I think I need to take a walk. Maybe getting some fresh air will give me the courage I need to make the call. I grab my leather jacket, black wallet, and phone as I walk out the door.

I walk to the park only 3 blocks from my house: Hilton Park. It's scattered with benches and Sycamore trees. The air feels crisp and fresh--just the way I like it.

I spot a group of girls sitting on a park bench a few feet away. One girl has long brown hair and dark brown eyes. She's cute I guess. The girl next to her has short, dirty blonde hair and dark, red lipstick. Kind of hot in a mysterious "love me like you do" sort-of-way. The last girl on the end is by far the hottest. Her jet black hair is tied up in a bun and her long eyelashes curl perfectly. I can't tell what is it about her that makes her so...intriguing. Just looking at these girls makes me feel more comfortable.

Maybe I should go sit next to them? You know, as an ego builder.

I approach the large, green bench and smoothly slide into the empty spot next to the girl with long brown hair.

"You are three of the most attractive women I've ever set eyes on" I lie.

Blondie and Brownie giggle and look at each other, blushing. I look over and see the Ms. Black Bun holding a straight face, not even looking my way. I roll my eyes. She's obviously playing hard to get.

"So... may I have the pleasure of knowing your lovely names?" I flash a smile.

"I'm Karen" says Brownie, flipping her long hair over her shoulder.

"Nice to meet you Karen" I extend my hand and she giggles as she shakes it.

"I'm Melissa" Blondie announces, "But people just call me Lissa" she bats her eyes at me.

"I love your name...Melissa" I emphasize the "Me" part and she blushes again.

"And you" I turn toward Ms. Black Bun, "Will you be so kind as to tell me your name?"

No response.

I turn toward her friends and raise my eyebrows.

"Well my name is Alex" I extend my hand toward her and show off my winning smile.

Her eyes glance over at my extended hand and then return to her phone screen.

"Her name's Chantelle" Blondie giggles.

Ms. Black Bun shoots Blondie a death glare and Blondie stops giggling.

"Well Chantelle, you don't have to play hard to get. I already think you're stunning"

The tiniest edge of her mouth curved into a smile as she looked away.

"Could that be a smile I see?" I joke.

She looks away smiling again.

"Hah it is a smile! Oh Chantelle you find me charming, don't you?"

"Yeah right" she scoffed.

"No need to be embarrassed doll, it's a perfectly natural reaction to someone with eyes like mine" I jokingly bat my eyelashes, "and with winning teeth such as these" I give an exaggerated smile, "and with a body even remotely similar to this" I flexed my left arm and smirk.

I finally had her attention.

"You're right hun, you're pretty attractive," she bit her lip, "just not as attractive as me" she smiled as she pouted her lips out.

Oh man I had her wrapped around my finger. I was on fire. If I could get all three of these girls to fall at my feet, I had no reason to be nervous about some Hannah chick from just a coffee shop.

"Will you excuse me ladies for a moment while I make a call?" I winked at them.

"Hurry back!" Brownie chirped.

I smiled. "Of course Kare." She giggled at my nickname for her.

I walked few feet away to a rail and faced by back toward the girls. I let a deep breath of cold air fill my lungs as I pulled out my phone. Slowly punching in the digits I held my breath as the phone began to ring.

Feeling a bit nervous, I turned back to the ladies. Just as I had expected, each one--even Chantelle!--was staring at me and giggling. With confidence bursting within me, I gave a smile.

Finally the receiver on the other end of the call picked up. This was it.

"Hello and thank you for calling the Erectile Dysfunction Clinic! Placing this call subscribes you to a 6-week motivational calling. Each week you will receive a call from one of our staff discussing your journey with having erectile dysfunction. Pleas-"

"Wait what?" I look down at my phone in shock.

The girls look back at me with their eyebrows raised in question.

"Thank you for calling and subscribing to our program-" What the fuck. No. This isn't happening. Okay, just be cool. It's all good. Just hang up.

"No refunds acceptable and remember, together, we can overcome your dysfunction!"

"I DON'T HAVE ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION!!" I scream into the phone as I turn my back toward the girls.

"Thank you and we look forward to discussing your issues shortly"

"FUCK THIS. I DON'T HAVE ISSUES YOU...YOU..."

"Have a dysfunction-free day!"

"I WORK FINE. EVERYTHING DOWN THERE IS "A" OKAY!! DID YOU HEAR ME??!"

The other line hangs up.

I can't believe this. Hannah gave me some stupid number. It wasn't hers. What a bitch. I turn back around to face the girls.

They are disgusted. They look at me like I'm some dead squirrel they accidentally stepped on. They whisper to each other as they look at me and quietly get up to leave.

"Wait! No! Why are you guys leaving?!" I approach them.

"Well, good luck with your erectile dysfunction" Chantelle sneers as she begins to walk away. The others follow her.

I didn't even get their numbers.

The nerve this Hannah girl had. She didn't know who she was messing with. But not to worry...

She was about to.